Once More Into the Fray
by 1991Kira
Summary: We've all seen the stories where Shepard goes back in time. But what if it was everyone's favorite turian instead? Shakarian, ME1, Time-travel. COMPLETED. SEQUEL UP NOW.
1. Chapter 1

He could taste blood.

Blood and ash. For a few moments, his entire world seemed to be made of only these two things.

And the pain. _Spirits_, the pain!

It was worse than anything he had ever experienced. Worse than Omega, worse than the deaths of his team, worse than the loss of Shepard….

_Shepard!_

That single word, that single name, was enough to bring him back to his senses. He opened his eyes and willed himself to focus on his surroundings.

He was lying on the ground beside the wreckage of a Mako, the smell of melted human flesh assaulting his senses. The light of the Conduit was blazing before his eyes, casting a bright blue glow over his surroundings.

He sat up groggily, trying his best to make sense of his surroundings. Where was everybody? Vega? Anderson? Liara?

_Liara! Oh no, Spirits no. . .  
_

He remembered, the memory slithering into his mind like something from another life. Liara had been right behind him as they made the mad dash to the Conduit. Just as Harbinger's beam had lanced across the battlefield heading straight for him, he had stumbled on the corpse of a husk and had felt the force of a hasty biotic push forcing him away from its path.

Liara. One of his few surviving friends had sacrificed herself to save him. Him and Shepard. . .

_Shepard! _Once again clarity returned to him. He had to find her.

_Spirits no!_

There she was lying a dozen meters away from him, face down and unmoving. Her armor was still smoking, no doubt having taken more than a glancing blow from Harbinger's cannon.

_Please let her be alive. I can't lose her!_

He dragged himself towards her, his legs no longer able to support his weight. His damaged visor giving him erratic readings.

"Shepard," he croaked as he reached her body. "Shepard, please don't. . ."

He turned her over and felt a wave of relief hit him as he felt her soft breathing. She was alive! _Thank the Spirits. . .  
_

_But not for long, _a cynical voice whispered in the back of his mind. Her injuries were horrific, her armor practically melted into her skin and he didn't need his damaged visor to tell him that her vitals were steadily dropping.

_Get out of here, _his mind ordered him. Get her safe. As long as she was alive, they still had hope.

He tried hailing the Normandy on his comm but got no response. He cursed. _What the hell is going on? _

He got his answer as he looked up.

Above him loomed the shape of the bane of their existence, Harbinger. He seemed to be engaged in battle with a ship of some sort.

_Hang on! _Not just any ship. The Normandy!

_Joker, what the hell are you thinking. . .  
_

He watched as the Normandy divided towards the Reaper, landing blow after blow with its powerful Thanix cannon. Garrus was pleased to see that it was causing some damage as well. Perhaps with a bit of luck. . . .

The thought had barely crossed his mind when Harbinger's powerful beam scored a direct hit on the ship and disintegrated it.

Garrus couldn't believe his eyes. The Normandy was gone, just like that.

His home. Shepard's home. All their friends. Gone. . . .

_This can't be happening._

"Garrus. . . ."

The soft voice jolted him out of his stupor. He turned to regard the woman he held in his arms.

"Shepard. . ."

She was awake. Weak, injured. . . . but still she was awake. His mind once again kicked in. He had to get her out of here. As long as she was still alive, they could continue fighting, they could. . .

"Garrus. . . ."

"Shepard please, save your strength. We need to. . . ."

"Garrus!" she forced him to look at her. Her eyes, bright green, burning with passion, beseeching him to listen, to understand...

"I've. . . been. . . indoctrinated."

That was when Garrus finally admitted it to himself.

They had lost.

It had all been for nothing. All the pain they had borne, all the effort they had put in, all the people they had lost.

_Mordin, Wrex, Legion, Tali, Thane, Alenko, Miranda, Kasumi, Anderson, Vega, Liara, Joker, EDI, Chakwas. . . .  
_

All their deaths, all their sacrifices had been for nothing.

"I'm sorry," Shepard whispered. She had seen the realization in his eyes.

Garrus merely looked at her. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say.

Dimly he was aware of the giant form of Harbinger turning his attention towards them, its giant cannon charging up for the final blow.

"I love you. . ." Garrus whispered as he threw himself over the woman who meant everything to him, shielding her one last time.

A flash of red light, a giant mechanical roar, a searing flame hotter than a thousand suns. . . .

Garrus Vakarian felt his world end.

* * *

The first thing that crossed his mind as woke up that the afterlife was strangely comfortable.

Dimly, he remembered human sayings about heaven being somewhere up in the clouds.

Perhaps he floating on such a cloud. . . .

He opened his eyes slowly.

The next thing to cross his mind was that the afterlife strangely reminded him of his apartment on the Citadel.

_Heh. My apartment. . . .  
_

He bolted upright suddenly on his bed. _**His apartment!?**_

He looked around carefully. Was this some kind of sick joke the Reapers were playing on him? Trapping him in his own head, in an illusion of his apartment?

He scratched the top of his head. No, this wasn't how indoctrination was supposed to work. He was supposed to be hearing voices, having strange dreams, seeing strange things, feeling the sudden urge to worship giant alien bio-mechanical cuttlefish.

He scratched his head in confusion as he moved to the bathroom. Nope, he certainly did not feel the urge to start worshiping giant cuttlefish.

_Then what the hell is __**this **__supposed to be?_

The water felt cool as it splashed on his face, forcing away his fatigue and returning clarity of thought to him. His mind searched for a possible explanation. Was he hallucinating? If so, this was a very vivid hallucination.

He glanced absently at his reflection in the mirror and froze. . .

His face. His face was. . . normal.

He examined himself eagerly in the mirror. His scars were gone, his right mandible was as sharp as it had always been.

He looked completely normal. Or as normal as he had looked during his C-Sec days. . .

_Hang on. _His C-Sec days?

_Crap._

He bolted out of the bathroom, nearly falling over his own feet in his haste to get to his omni-tool. He snapped it on his arm clumsily and activating it, quickly checked the time.

It was 7:00AM Citadel time. No problem.

The date however made his blood freeze. Specifically the year.

**2183.**

...

...

_Oh crap!_

* * *

Today was the first time that Garrus Vakarian had called in sick to work. Executor Pallin had _not _been pleased.

But Garrus Vakarian didn't give a damn. He had bigger problems.

No, scratch that. . . . _problem_ was not the right word to describe his current situation.

In fact, Garrus was _pretty _sure there was no word in _any _language to describe his current situation.

He had returned to the past.

He had _fucking _time-travelled.

_Ridiculous. . . .  
_

His first thought when he had seen the date was that he had finally cracked under all the pressure. But a quick tour around the Citadel had informed him otherwise.

This wasn't the Citadel that he had fought through just a few months ago to protect the citizens from Cerberus.

No, this was _his _Citadel. The one that had existed before Cerberus, before Saren, before Sovereign. . . .

The one that Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec detective knew like the back of his hand.

He stood on one of the walkways overlooking the Presidium Lake. All around him, people went about their business like always. Unaware. Unafraid.

He breathed in the familiar air. This wasn't a hallucination. This was **real**.

He really was back.

But why?

Why had he come back to where it had all began? Was he the only one? Did anyone else know about what was about to happen?

Why **him**?

Was this just another cruel trick the Reapers were playing on him? Making him lose everything and everyone important to him all over again? His friends? His family? Shepard. . . ?

An icy rage blossomed in the pit of his stomach. _Not Shepard. Not again. . . .  
_

Or perhaps it was something different? Perhaps someone out there had finally gotten sick of all the injustice in the galaxy, and decided to give him a second chance.

_A chance to do it again. A chance to fight again._

He gripped the railing before him tight.

_A chance to make it all right._

Suddenly he remembered a few lines from an Earth poem that he had heard Williams recite on one of their more difficult missions.

"_Once more into the fray_

_Into the last good fight I'll ever know_

_Live and die on this day_

_Live and die on this day"_

He smiled coldly to himself. Yes, it was apt. He was going into battle once more. It was fitting that this be his guide.

Only he had no intention of letting himself or anyone else die this time round.

No, dying was something he was going to leave to the Reapers.

He straightened up and walked away, back straight, eyes lit with purpose.

Garrus Vakarian was a turian on a mission, and Spirits have mercy on anyone stupid enough to get in his way.

* * *

**AN: So, what do you guys think? Reviews please.**


	2. Chapter 2

Garrus knew that in order to achieve his goals, he'd have to approach this situation like one of his cases: slow, careful and methodical.

The first step was gathering information.

Turians had a pretty good memory in general, and Garrus was _definitely_ smarter than the average turian (there was a reason he had risen so quickly through C-Sec ranks, after all). It wasn't difficult to compare the details of his cases with those of his memories from the previous timeline.

He was looking for deviations. He had to know how different this galaxy was from the one in the last timeline.

Turns out there weren't any.

He leaned back casually in his chair. Nothing _seemed_ different from his memories. Heck, even the people were as he remembered them.

He ran through his mental checklist once again. Pallin was still a bureaucracy-obsessed lunatic, Chellick was still running his sneaky undercover operations and Harkin was still a sleaze ball. . . .

Nope, seems like nothing much had changed after all.

He glanced at his omni-tool. _Twenty-four hours._

In twenty-four hours Saren was going to hit Eden Prime, and set off the chain of events that would change the galaxy forever.

His first instinct had been to warn the Systems Alliance about the attack on Eden Prime, find a way to prevent the thousands of deaths that were going to define that colony's place in galaxy history.

But he couldn't. Doing so might set off a different chain of events that would change the future, turn it into something beyond his control.

Garrus was at war with the Reapers, and wars demanded sacrifices.

_Ruthless calculus of war._

He gave a hollow bark of laughter. So it came down to the same thing all over again. Once again he was forced to look at the whole situation from a cold, detached perspective. Sacrifice "x" here, to gain "y" there.

_Ten billion people over here die, so that twenty billion over there can live._

He shook his head forcefully. No, he wasn't doing this because he wanted to. He was doing this because he had long since learned that he couldn't hope to save everybody. Working with Shepard had taught him that well.

_Shepard. _He sighed. His mind went back to the last conversation they had had.

She had been indoctrinated.

In hindsight, it should have been obvious from the very beginning. The Shepard _he_ knew would never had made some of the decisions she had during the Reaper war.

Sabotaging the genophage cure. Betraying Mordin and Wrex. Sacrificing the entire Quarian fleet to save the Geth, simply because she felt the latter would be more _useful_.

No, the Shepard he knew was a good woman. One who believed in second chances, one who gave them to those who truly deserved it. She wasn't the Paragon of virtue most people made her out to be, but she also wasn't the monster she had eventually become.

But if she'd been indoctrinated all along? Garrus nodded to himself. It explained a lot of things, things which at that time he had explained away as the stress of the war.

But that brought up the logical question, when _had _she been indoctrinated?

If he had to guess, it must have been during her mission to the Bahak system. She herself had told Garrus about that mysterious Object Rho, the Reaper artifact which Dr Kenson's team had been studying.

By Shepard's own admission, she had been held captive at the base for two days. Plenty of time for the Reapers to plant their insidious seeds in her mind. They must have taken extra precautions to make the whole process as subtle as possible, so that even someone like Javik wouldn't have suspected anything if he tried to read her mental state.

Garrus had to give the bastards credit. It really was a very ingenious strategy.

Too bad for them he wasn't going to let it happen _this _time around.

He sighed tiredly. No point in worrying about that now. What was that human saying Shepard was so fond of? Oh yeah, they'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

He glanced at the time again. There was still quite some time to go before Shepard arrived at the Citadel to plead their case against Saren.

He had a few calls to make.

"Hi Mom. Garrus here. . . no, nothing's wrong. Just wanted to chat a little bit. How's Sol doing?"

* * *

There she was.

Commander Shepard, Hero of Elysium, Savior of the Citadel and Bane of the Reapers.

And the one person who Garrus Vakarian loved more than anyone else in the galaxy. . .

He stood a respectable distance away from her, watching as she disembarked from the docking bay elevator. He drank in the sight of her lithe frame wearing her beloved N7 armor, her short red hair dancing in a gentle breeze, her bright green eyes searching her surroundings. She had a neutral expression on her face, but Garrus knew that look in her eyes. It spoke of an innocence, a child-like wonder which Shepard always possessed when she saw something that piqued her interest.

Then he caught sight of a familiar figure standing right behind her.

Kaidan Alenko.

And just like that, the magic was gone.

He sighed. If there was anything out there that Garrus Vakarian despised more than Reapers and Cerberus, it was Alenko.

No, _"despised"_ was perhaps too strong a word. Alenko merely irritated him.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was Shepard's ex, maybe it had something to do with the way he had treated her on Horizon and on Mars, maybe it had something to do with the way he'd turned his gun on her during the Cerberus coup attempt. . . .

. . . or maybe it was just his stupid hair.

Garrus clenched his fists. The very idea of that bastard running his hands over Shepard, _his _Shepard, made his blood boil.

Grimly, he wondered if he could get away with shooting the upstart in the groin with a hammerhead round.

It would certainly be one hell of a conversation starter.

_Alenko doubled up in pain as he fell to the ground, clutching his family jewels._

_Garrus walked up to Shepard, holstering his smoking pistol like the badass he was. "Commander Shepard. I'm Garrus Vakarian."_

_Shepard looked at him, eyes filled with awe. "Oh Mr Vakarian, you're such a badass!"_

_Garrus snaked one arm of his around her slender waist. He looked deep into her eyes. "Am I?" he purred, his sub-vocals trilling with pleasure._

"_Yes, you are!" squealed Ashley Williams, looking up at him in hero-worship._

_Without looking away from Shepard, he reached out with one hand and pushed Williams away. She fell backwards with a crash, resounding curses coming from an unfortunate bystander._

"_What say we find a nice quiet place to test my reach. . . and your flexibility?" he purred._

"_Oh Garrus," Shepard whispered, her voice husky with lust. . .  
_

He shook himself awake. What the hell? This was no time to be daydreaming!

He scanned the crowd anxiously. Shepard and her gang were hailing a cab, presumably on their way to the Presidium.

Time to put his plan into action.

He turned and jogged away to C-Sec academy. He had to catch up with an old friend.

_Note to self: ease up a little on watching re-runs of Fleet and Flotilla._

* * *

**AN: To all you Shenko fans out there, no I'm not going to indulge in too much Alenko-bashing. This is just an attempt at injecting some humor into an otherwise dry storyline. Remember, we're talking about Garrus' POV here.  
**

**Lemme know what you guys think.**


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you want, _turian_?"

Garrus blinked in surprise. For a moment, he was taken aback by the sheer hostility in the voice of his old friend.

Then he recalled that in this timeline, they hadn't even met yet.

"Urdnot Wrex, I presume?" he drawled. "I'm Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec Detective. I was told you've been threatening to kill Fist?"

"What's it _you_?" said the krogan, taking a menacing step towards him.

To his credit, Garrus did not budge. "Fist has some information I'm in desperate need of. But as long as you're on the Citadel, he's not going to take a single step out of Chora's Den."

He stepped forward, careful to not break eye-contact. "You help me get what I want, I'll make sure C-Sec won't give you any trouble once you've. . . _dealt_ with him."

Wrex eyed him warily, probably looking for signs of deception. "Why should I help _you_, turian?"

Garrus smiled at him coldly. "I believe your people have a saying: seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend. So, you in?"

Wrex stared at him for a few moments and then cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Let's go. I _hate_ to keep Fist waiting."

* * *

Dispatching the guards at Chora's den was laughably easy.

Perhaps it was because Garrus and Wrex had the element of surprise, perhaps it was because nobody expected a turian and a krogan to walk into a bar and start shooting at something other than each other. . . .

Or perhaps it was because they were simply that good.

At any rate, the unusual duo soon found themselves standing over the cowering form of Fist, who seemed to be trying hard not to pass out in their presence.

On the way in Garrus had run into three guards who, in the previous timeline, had been unfortunate enough to threaten Dr Michel in the presence of Commander Shepard.

He smiled fondly as he put a bullet in each of their heads, remembering how Shepard had berated him over endangering Michel's life while taking down these very fools.

_Spirits, she was so amazing back then. . . .  
_

He was snapped out of his fond reverie as a nasty smell reached his nose.

Fist had soiled himself.

He sighed internally. _Really, this guy's supposed to be a crime boss?_

And what kind of a name was "Fist", anyway?

_Archangel, now that's a name. . . .  
_

He snapped back to reality as Wrex cleared his throat and glared pointedly at the cowering human.

"Fist," Garrus drawled. "My sources tell me a quarian approached you to set up a meeting with the Shadow Broker. Tell me where she is."

"She's not here. I don't know where she is. That's the _truth_!"

"I see," Garrus said coldly. He turned to the hulking krogan beside him. "All yours, Wrex."

"Wait! Wait!" Fist screamed as Wrex advanced on him. "I don't know where the quarian is, but I know where you can find her."

"I told her I'd set up a meeting with the Broker. Here in the wards. Back alley by the markets. You should hurry. Saren's men will be waiting for her."

Garrus simply turned on his heel and walked away. Behind him he heard the loud report of a shotgun, and looked back to see Wrex standing over Fist's corpse.

"The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him. I don't leave jobs half done." He glared defiantly at Garrus, as though daring him to say something.

Garrus simply shrugged. "We've got a quarian to save and more bad guys to kill. You coming?"

Wrex simply stared at him.

As Garrus walked away he heard the krogan follow him, muttering under his breath, "You're one crazy turian, you know that?"

Garrus merely grinned. _Oh trust me Wrex, you have no idea!_

* * *

He spotted her standing near the back alley, obviously waiting impatiently for her contacts to arrive. His heart jumped at the sight of her.

"Tali Zorah nar Rayya?"

She looked at him suspiciously, taking in the large krogan looming behind him.

"Yes?"

He let her voice wash over him for a second. She was here, _really here! _One of his closest friends, someone who he practically thought of as his sister. . .

. . . someone he had failed terribly.

_Spirits Tali. . . .  
_

"I'm Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec detective," he said, silently thankful that she wasn't as familiar with reading turian facial expressions as she would go on to be. "This is Wrex," he gestured to the krogan behind him. "Dr Michel mentioned you had information on the geth."

She relaxed slightly at the mention of Michel's name. "Yes. . ." she said hesitantly. "I was going to sell this to the Shadow Broker. . . ."

Wrex harrumphed. "The Shadow Broker never deals with anyone face-to-face. I've worked for him before, and even I was hired by an agent."

"Fist set you up," Garrus said bluntly. "He doesn't work for the Broker anymore. It was Saren's men who were going to meet you here."

"That _bosh'tet! _I knew I couldn't trust him!" an obviously distraught Tali exclaimed.

"Don't worry about Fist. He got what was coming to him." Garrus assured her with a grin.

"Then I guess there are two things I need to thank you for. Regarding the data. . . ."

"You can come with us to the human embassy. You'll be safe there. They'll probably want to see the data for themselves, anyway," Garrus suggested.

"Great idea. You lead, I'll follow."

The unusual trio left the back alley, only Wrex complaining about missing a possible firefight.

* * *

As they approached the human embassy, Garrus could hear Anderson, Udina and Shepard having a discussion. Anderson seemed to be in a frenzy of some sort and Shepard was attempting to calm him down.

The three of them stopped talking and turned around to look at Garrus' group warily.

Garrus supposed he couldn't blame them for looking so suspicious. It's not every day one saw a krogan, a turian and a quarian walk into a _human_ embassy.

_Heh. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. . . .  
_

"Can I help you Detective?" Udina drawled, peering at their group suspiciously.

"Ambassador," Garrus said, nodding briefly. He snapped off a salute at Anderson and Shepard, who looked surprised. "I'm Garrus Vakarian, officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

"You found something?" Shepard was the first one to recover. Garrus grinned at her.

"As a matter of fact, I have." He gestured to the quarian behind him. "This is Tali Zorah nar Rayya. She's got something you all need to hear."

He then stood back as Udina addressed Tali directly. He half-listened to Tali talking about her Pilgrimage and recovering the geth memory core. He stole the occasional glace at Shepard, whose attention was focused entirely on the audio recording of Saren talking about the Conduit.

He was close enough to smell her scent. _Spirits, how he missed that smell. . . .  
_

He recovered just in time to hear Tali telling the others about the legend of the Reapers.

"We must present these findings to the Council right away," Udina declared.

"What about the quarian?" Ashley muttered.

"My _name_ is Tali," the quarian in question said, glaring at the gunnery chief.

"Commander Shepard, please let me come with you. I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

"I don't know, Tali," Shepard seemed hesitant. "Things could get ugly out there."

_Crap. . . . _Garrus thought. Shepard hadn't seen Tali in action this time round; no wonder she was hesitant to bring her aboard.

_Time for a little improvisation. . .  
_

"I think you should consider her offer, Commander," Garrus said, interjecting himself smoothly into the conversation. "You'll be going up against Saren and an army of unknowns. Tali's the closest thing to a geth expert you've got right now."

Shepard seemed to consider this carefully. "You're right," she nodded. "I'll take all the help I can get." She smiled at the young quarian, "Welcome aboard, Tali."

As Tali thanked the Commander, Udina and Anderson moved off to alert the council, leaving the mismatched group alone to prepare.

"Good job, detective," the Commander praised. "You really helped us out over there."

"Just doing my job, Commander," Garrus replied modestly.

_All right, here goes nothing. . . .  
_

"Commander, if I may. . ." he hesitated.

"Speak your mind, detective."

"This is your show, Commander. But I want to bring down Saren as much as you do. I'd appreciate it if you let me come with you."

"_You're_ a _turian_. Why do you want to take him down?" Williams piped up from behind Shepard.

_Williams. . . so predictable._

The Commander shot her a stern glare, one that promised a dressing-down in the near future, before turning to look at Garrus somewhat apologetically.

Garrus steeled himself. He'd been practicing this speech for a while now.

"Saren is a traitor to the Council and a disgrace to my people! But it's more than just that," he paused. "What he did on Eden Prime is unforgivable. All those innocent lives lost. . . it's something he has to answer for."

"_Human_ lives," Alenko spoke up, as if stating some indisputable fact.

"_Innocent _lives," Garrus repeated firmly. "The fact that they were human changes nothing, not in _my_ book at least."

He saw the glint of approval in Shepard's eyes and instinctively knew what her next words were going to be.

"Welcome to the team, Garrus," she said, holding out her hand.

He shook her hand firmly, relishing the feel of her small hand against his. "Thank you, Shepard."

"What about your friend there?" Shepard asked, gesturing towards a bored-looking Wrex.

Garrus chuckled. "We're not a package, exactly. You're going to have to ask him yourself; if you ask me though, he won't say no to a good fight."

Shepard merely grinned.

* * *

**AN: So, what does everyone think? Reviews, people.**

**Oh, and in response to Mei-chiri's questions, Garrus is definitely going to go up against Shepard's other possible LIs. But he's not going to take them head-on. Nope, this Garrus is a veteran of the Reaper war, and he's going to fight dirty :) **

**Thanks to everyone for all your reviews so far. Really appreciate it. **


	4. Chapter 4

Garrus Vakarian hummed happily as he lay under the Mako, fiddling with the suspension systems.

He was home, and everything was alright with the galaxy.

Well. . . okay, maybe not _perfectly _alright_. _Williams still looked like she'd swallowed broken glass every time she spoke a few words to him (no doubt Shepard had given her a good long lecture on the downsides of being a paranoid xenophobe), Wrex looked like he couldn't make up his mind whether to eat him or to shoot him (he compensated for that by blaming him for the genophage, though) and Alenko looked like someone had stolen his candy every time he caught Garrus speaking to Shepard.

He sighed. Things could be whole lot worse.

As he continued to work, his mind went back to their last mission to Therum.

It had gone exactly like in the previous timeline, only there seemed to be a whole lot more geth armatures and rocket troopers around. Perhaps Saren had been in a bad mood after getting his Spectre status revoked merely an hour after he had convinced the Council of his innocence. Whatever the reason, the geth had surely not pulled any punches.

He smiled to himself. The Garrus Vakarian of old would have found the fight difficult.

But this was not the old Garrus Vakarian. No, this was a turian who had almost single-handedly terrorized the criminal population of Omega for two years as Archangel, who had assaulted the Collector Base with Commander Shepard and survived with minimal injuries, and who had fought against the Reapers in the single, most devastating war the galaxy had ever seen.

All that skill, all that experience combined with the raw youthfulness and agility of his current body. . .

Heh. The poor geth never even stood a chance.

He still remembered the looks his teammates gave him after he single-handedly dispatched an armature with a few well-placed sniper rounds to the joints and a couple of tech mines.

Williams had stared at him with her mouth wide open, Tali (even though he couldn't tell with the helmet) probably had the same expression, Wrex had actually grunted in approval and Shepard. . .

. . . Shepard'd looked like Christmas had come early.

The sight of his Commander slapping him on the back with a "_Good work, Garrus. Glad I brought you along_" had made him feel ten feet taller.

He clicked his mandibles thoughtfully. Only Alenko's expression had seemed out of the ordinary. He looked as though someone had force-fed him Therum's hot lava.

Garrus got the impression that the lieutenant did not like him much.

Maybe it had something to do with Garrus "accidentally" spilling hot coffee down the officer's pants just prior to the mission ("_Sorry, lieutenant!_"), maybe it had something to do with Garrus tampering with the lock on his weapons locker, causing him to run late ("_Problem, lieutenant?_"), maybe it had something to do with Garrus "accidentally" shooting him in the ass with an incendiary round ("_My bad, lieutenant!_"), maybe it had something to do with Garrus letting him get flanked by a Geth Rocket trooper who subsequently blew him out of cover ("_Watch your six, lieutenant!_"). . .

. . . or maybe it was simply because humans were incredibly insecure and envious creatures by nature, and Alenko was more insecure than most.

_Yes,_ he nodded to himself. That had to be the answer.

He heaved a long-suffering sigh of one who was so devilishly-handsome.

_The life of a badass is truly a hard one._

* * *

As he watched the thresher maw collapse in a heap of dead meat on Edolus, Garrus realized that it was time to step up his game.

He'd been biding his time so far, waiting for the gang to come together, carefully observing the sequence of events to doubly ensure that nothing was different from the previous timeline.

As he looked over the bodies of the dead marines strewn about the distress beacon, he realized that he'd waited long enough.

It was time to take the kill-shot.

* * *

As he sat alone in Chora's Den, Admiral Kahoku knocked back his sixth glass of whiskey.

Two hours. It'd been two hours since Commander Shepard had given him the news about his marines on Edolus.

_Dead_. No, they were worse than dead. They had been fed to a bloody thresher maw, dammit!

His brave men and women had been led into a trap, a diabolical trap set up by some godforsaken terrorists!

Kahoku was no fool. The moment he'd read Shepard's report on Edolus, he'd realized that this wasn't the first time this had happened to his people.

_Akuze_. The realization had been a punch in the gut. The loss of an entire unit of his men had seemed like a tragedy back then.

Only now did he realize the truth: It was_ murder!_

He was no fool. Oh, no! His men had been murdered by someone _within_ the Alliance. He just _knew_ it had something to do with that black ops organization that had gone rogue a few years ago.

Armistan Banes had been a part of it. Kahoku had known there was something suspicious about the way his body had been found back then.

He had to investigate further, dig harder. He owed his men that much. They. . .

The buzzing of his omni-tool jolted him out of his increasingly despondent thoughts.

He was about to reject the call when he noticed it was highly encrypted.

_What the hell!?_

The alcohol overriding his sense of caution, he answered it.

"_Admiral Kahoku? A pleasure."_

"Who is this?" Kahoku said. The caller was using a voice modulator to mask their identity.

"_Who I am is not important. What __**is**__ important is how I can help you."_

"Listen. I don't know who you think you are. . ."

"_Relax, Admiral. I'm a friend; and please, stopping looking around the bar like that, you'll just attract unnecessary attention."_

Kahoku froze. "What?"

"_I'm assuming you've read Commander Shepard's report on your men by now? About Edolus?"_

"Yes," Kahoku ground out.

"_The organization responsible for the deaths of your men. They go by the name 'Cerberus'."_

Cerberus. The name was familiar.

"_They're former Alliance, black ops. Currently, they function as a pro-human para-military organization, operating independently of both the Council and the Alliance."_

"Why are you telling me this?" Kahoku asked cautiously. _There has to be a catch._

"_I'm telling you this, Admiral, because if you persist in investigating them using standard Alliance channels, you'll die."_

Kahoku bristled. "Is that a threat?"

"_A warning, Admiral. Cerberus is extremely powerful. They've got nearly unlimited resources and have successfully infiltrated the Alliance to a degree you cannot even hope to imagine. Believe me when I say this, I want Cerberus gone as much as you do."_

"Why?"

A pause._ "You think you're the only one to have ever lost your comrades to those monsters?"_

"So you expect me to just forget about it?" Kahoku whispered indignantly. "My people are dead! You expect me. . ."

"_I know better than anyone else how you feel!"_ The sharpness in the voice made Kahoku pause mid-rant.

A sigh. _"You hate yourself for being alive when so many good men are dead. You feel they deserve justice, some sort of recompense for what they had to go through. Who's going to do it if you don't? No one else cares. No one else knows."_

Kahoku's mouth nearly fell open in shock. _How does he. . . ?_

"_Your men deserved better than this, Admiral. No doubt. But how __**exactly**__ do you intend to do any good for them if you end up getting yourself killed?"_

Kahoku's shoulders sagged in defeat. _He's right. _"What do you want from me?"

"_Right now, there are only two people in the Systems Alliance you can trust: Captain Anderson and Admiral Hackett."_

"_Get in touch with them. Share your findings and Shepard's report with them. Then convince Hackett to assemble a small strike force of his most trustworthy people."_

"_I'm sending you the co-ordinates to a few Cerberus research bases. Hit them hard and grab every last piece of data you can. Trust me, it'll come in handy later."_

"What do you want in return?" Kahoku swallowed. _No way all this came without a catch._

Amused laughter._ "You can thank me by taking Cerberus apart piece by piece. Remember, like most terrorist organizations Cerberus operates on an independent cell structure. Take out the cells one by one and you'll weaken them greatly."_

Death by a thousand cuts_. _Kahoku had to admit he liked the sound of that.

"_Oh, and one more thing. In the future, Shepard may find herself in a spot of trouble with Cerberus. Make sure to help her out then, okay?"_

"That's it?"

"_It is. Goodbye Admiral, and good luck."_

"Wait," Kahoku said. "Who are you?"

Amused chuckle._ "I'm an angel watching over your shoulder, Admiral. Or to be more precise, an Archangel."_

The line went dead. Kahoku sat still for a few moments, stunned.

His first instinct was to dismiss everything he had just heard. It could be an elaborate hoax. Maybe someone was messing with him, or maybe the whiskey had just gone straight to his head.

That thought went as quickly as it came as he looked at the co-ordinates displayed on his omni-tool.

All this information given for free, and all his mysterious benefactor wanted in return was for his keep an eye out for Shepard?

It sounded too good to be true!

Heck, it wasn't like he even needed any incentive to watch out for the young Spectre. Shepard was a good kid. He'd known her since the Blitz; people like her were a rarity.

Kahoku was not a superstitious man by any means. But he couldn't help but wonder about the irony of his situation.

Barely a few minutes ago, he had been willing to go to his death to avenge his men. But he had been saved, by someone calling themselves _Archangel_.

He scoffed. _What a day!_

He knocked back his final glass of whiskey, paid his tab and strode purposefully out the bar.

Gone was the man drowning his grief in alcohol and lamenting his helplessness.

In his place was Rear Admiral Kahoku, veteran of the Skyllian Blitz and the bane of batarian slavers.

He was going to destroy Cerberus and avenge his men, and _nothing_ would stand in his way.

* * *

**AN: As most of you might've guessed by now, Kahoku's going to be a major character in my story. He'll have important roles to play in the ME2 and ME3 story arcs.  
**

**For those of you who feel Garrus isn't doing more, remember he's playing the long game here. Think of him as a chess player getting his pieces in to position. The real impact of his actions is going to be seen much later.  
**

**For those of you who feel that Garrus seems too strategic in this story, take a look at his Shadow Broker dossier, specifically the Archangel part. Anyone who's capable of killing people in such inventive ways has gotta have one hell of a ruthless streak in him; and anyone capable of causing trouble for Omega's three biggest gangs in just two years has got to have a great strategic mind. Hell, his sense of strategy is why Cerberus recommended him for recruitment in the first place. **


	5. Chapter 5

Garrus Vakarian was a very _odd_ turian.

Or so Commander Shepard thought anyway.

Of course, it wasn't like she had much experience working with turians before this. Hell, the closest she'd come to having one had been with Nihlus Kyrik, but a bullet to the back of his head had put a premature end to that professional relationship.

Still, there were some things about Garrus that just didn't seem to add up. . .

Not for nothing had Shepard been chosen to represent humanity at the Spectres. She had a knack for noticing things other people missed. Tiny details that added up to a rather strange picture.

She noticed the way he moved on the battlefield, like a predator who _knew_ he was the alpha. She had dismissed it initially as typical turian behavior; after all they were from a rather militaristic culture. But she quickly dismissed that theory when she saw him in action.

Garrus moved with a very _distinct_ air about him. She had seen that look before, in the eyes of superior N7 officers and battle-hardened veterans. Those were the eyes of someone who had seen a lot of death, a lot of destruction, someone who had seen and fought things infinitely worse than their current situation.

Those were not the eyes of a C-Sec officer barely into his thirties. Those were the eyes of someone who had seen the true face of war, and _lived_ to talk about it.

But there was absolutely nothing in his record that suggested such a background. She knew that turians enlisted into the military young, but that didn't explain all these peculiarities. Could he have been Special Forces? Black ops? Was the whole "_C-Sec Detective_" thing a cover for something much more sinister?

She mentally chided herself. She was being paranoid. The guy hadn't done anything to deserve her suspicion. Heck, he had been nothing but helpful since he had set foot aboard the Normandy.

He spent hours at a time toiling away under the Mako, never once complaining about the frequent damage it seemed to incur. He never once criticized her driving skills, which had become something of a joke to the rest of the crew.

_It's not my fault the damn thing handles like an elcor on roller blades!_

But that was only half the reason she was glad to have him around.

A month ago, if someone had told Shepard had she would actually enjoy working alongside a turian, she'd have called them crazy.

Yet, right now there was no one else she'd rather have at her back other than Garrus Vakarian.

He was a genius with a sniper rifle, and his tech skills were probably second only to Tali. He was also a brilliant tactician and was exceptionally gifted at exploiting the terrain to gain an edge over the enemy.

But his greatest gift was his almost intuitive understanding of Shepard's orders on the field. She never had to spell things out for him. A simple gesture of the head, a meaningful look and he'd carry out his task exactly as she wanted him to.

Shepard frowned. This brought her back to his peculiar behavior.

His extreme familiarity with Alliance hand-signals, his tendency to use human idioms and expressions while talking, his familiarity with human customs and traditions. . . . all of this hinted heavily that he'd fought alongside humans before.

Then there were the little things. The way he tended to freeze in fear, for a split second, whenever one of their team members went down. The way he sometimes looked at the rest of the team when they were engrossed in casual conversation, in the mess or on the field.

What was that forlorn expression on his face? Melancholy? Nostalgia?

Loss. . . ?

But who _had _he lost?

She shook her head. Garrus was a riddle wrapped in a puzzle inside an enigma.

Still, Shepard always obeyed her instincts over her logic.

And her instincts told her that something about having _Garrus Vakarian_ at her side just felt right.

* * *

One of Garrus' most endearing traits, in Shepard's humble opinion, was his penchant take the initiative for resource gathering during operations.

Or, as Ashley liked to put it so fondly. . . _looting_.

It was something they both had in common.

Shepard scowled. It wasn't like the Council or Alliance had given her any funds or equipment to aid in her hunt for Saren. She herself found it extremely tedious to go around breaking into every secure storage locker they could find, scrounging for scraps.

And yet, Shepard thought as she gazed at the Kovalyov assault rifle cradled lovingly in her hands, how else would she be able to get her hands on such lovely treasures?

Still, she had to admit Garrus had a tendency to take things too far sometimes.

She recalled an incident from one of their last missions, clearing out a mercenary camp.

"_Spirits. . . ."she heard Garrus mutter, the awe in his voice clearly audible._

"_What is it, Garrus?" Shepard asked as she swiped the contents of an upgrade kit. Proton rounds. . . ugh, she rarely used these!_

"_Spirits. . . ." _

"_Damn it, Garrus, did you find something useful?" Most of the stuff she'd found lying around this camp was trash, so she was in a pretty antsy mood._

"_Spirits. . . ." _

"_Oh, for the love of. . . ." She stomped over to his position. "Garrus, what the hell did you find that has you so. . . ?"_

_Her jaw dropped._

"_Spirits!" he exclaimed happily, waving a bottle of alcohol in each hand. "Commander, they've got some really good dextro-liquor stashed here! Pretty rare stuff!"_

"_Did someone say 'dextro-liquor'?" Tali poked her head into the room._

"_Dammit, Vakarian," Ashley growled. "We're not here for a drink! Besides, booze is banned on Alliance ships." _

_Garrus merely looked at her, clicking his mandibles thoughtfully. He then reached out behind him and pulled out another bottle. "Here Williams, I'm pretty sure this is levo-friendly."_

_Ashley moved so fast Shepard could've sworn she had teleported. "Ooh, this is vintage scotch! Real high-end stuff! Look, the label says this thing's at least a hundred years old!"_

_She looked up at Shepard, her eyes sparkling. "Commander, we've got to take this with us! It'd be a crime to leave it behind here!"_

"_I agree," Wrex rumbled. "A good drink is rare to find, and must not be wasted."_

"_Now look here! Alliance regulations. . . "_

"_But this is really expensive dextro-liquor, Shepard," Tali said. "I could never hope to afford something like this. Are you sure we can't take this with us?"_

_Shepard ground her teeth. She really hated it when Tali got all pouty on her. The young quarian was getting way too good at pushing the right buttons._

"_But the regulations. . . ." she protested weakly._

"_You're a Spectre," Garrus reminded her. "The rules don't apply to you, remember?" _

_Smartass!  
_

"_Fine," Shepard relented. She watched with a small smile as her team cheered and started packing the liquor into crates for transport._

"_I must admit I look forward to sampling some alcohol," Liara spoke up from behind her. "I've never had the chance before."_

_Everyone stopped in their tracks and turned as one to regard the asari with looks of utter disbelief. _

"_What. . . ?" she asked, fidgeting under their combined gaze._

"_You're over a hundred years old and you've never had a drink before?" Ashley asked incredulously._

"_I have never had the opportunity. . ."_

"_Keelah, Liara." Tali shook her head._

"_Don't worry, T'Soni," Garrus assured her. "Leave it to us. Today is the day you finally enter the world of adults."_

"_But I'm already an adult. . . ."_

_Shepard merely shook her head in exasperation. _

* * *

It was a tired, battered, exhausted and smelly group that returned to the Normandy from Feros.

Weary, injured and still stinking of the Thorian's juices. . . but victorious.

Shepard reflected on what was arguably the most difficult mission they had undertaken ever since the team was put together. Too many unknowns, too many variables.

Between the geth, Thorian creepers and the possessed colonists, it was a miracle things had not gone to hell from the get-go.

Shepard had to give credit where it was due, Garrus had really outdone himself this time. He had successfully led Liara and Ashley into the tunnels to clear out all the geth as well as restore all the essential systems of the colony. Then he'd doubled back to where Shepard and her team were barely holding out against the swarm of creepers and provided much-needed back-up.

But his suggestion to knock-out the colonists using non-lethal concussive rounds instead of wasting their limited anti-thorian gas grenades was truly inspired.

It had definitely helped improve their odds when they finally faced the Thorian itself.

She shuddered slightly, recalling the giant, gross sentient plant. Its face had been the stuff of nightmares.

Still, Garrus being Garrus, had managed to lighten up the situation considerably.

"_No more will the Thorian listen to those who scurry. Your lives are short but. . . ."_

_The green asari was cut off as a concussive round blasted her off the ledge._

"_Dammit, Vakarian!" Ashley snapped. "You could've at least let her finish."_

_Garrus stared at her. "What are we in a video game or something, waiting for her to finish her evil monologue before we start fighting?"_

_Shepard sighed. "Just kill the fucking creepers already!"_

She smiled as she shook her head. At least things were never boring with _him_ around.

* * *

**AN: Just thought I'd write a chapter with Shepard's POV on Garrus.**

**I figured someone who'd travelled back in time would tend to exhibit behavior that might seem odd to others. Even someone as careful as Garrus would slip up a little bit here and there, perhaps not showing enough genuine surprise or horror at a situation.**

**Given how observant we know Shepard is (she'd have to be, being a humanity's best and all), she's bound to notice a few peculiar things about our favorite turian.**

**Clarification: Shiala is alive at the end of the Feros mission. Remember, we're dealing with Paragon Shepard here.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Garrus Vakarian was not a vindictive turian.

Sure, he could hold a grudge better than anyone else, but he had never particularly _enjoyed_ tormenting others out of sheer spite.

Then why was he standing over Lieutenant Alenko's sleeping pod with a can of itching powder in his hands?

He clicked his mandibles thoughtfully. As amusing as it was to watch the young officer's discomfort dealing with the various surprises left behind for him, Garrus had to admit that this seemed to be to be going a _little_ too far.

Which once again brought up the question, why _did_ he dislike Alenko so much?

The answer was glaringly obvious.

Betrayal.

Garrus Vakarian did not deal with betrayal very well.

Perhaps it was because he was a turian brought up with the doctrine of honor, perhaps it was because of what happened to his team on Omega. . . either way, Garrus did _not_ like people who betrayed others.

And Kaidan Alenko had betrayed them. Betrayed Shepard. Betrayed her love and her trust.

He shook himself. No, it wasn't as simple as that.

His mind went back to where it had all begun, to Horizon.

Garrus had never expected that kind of behavior from _Alenko_ of all people. Williams, maybe. She was brash, short-tempered as hell and had a tendency to jump to conclusions without getting all the facts straight. Had it been Ashley on Horizon, accusing Shepard of being a traitor to the Alliance, he might've even understood where she was coming from.

But Alenko!? Garrus had been as shocked as Shepard on that day. The young officer had always seemed so calm, collected and even-tempered. Hell, he had been one of the few humans aboard the Normandy SR1 Garrus had actually liked.

He had honestly been surprised to hear that Alenko had been taught by Commander _Vyrnnus_ of all people at the BAaT program. The senile old turian had been notorious for his anti-human slant even within the Hierarchy. Garrus had shuddered when he'd tried to imagine what he must've put all those poor human children through.

He'd expected Alenko to be heavily xenophobic, or at least anti-turian, because of his past. The good lieutenant had instead surprised him with his open-mindedness and frank behavior. What was that he'd said? Aliens are the same as humans, jerks and saints. . . Garrus had liked the sound of that.

As much as he hated to admit it, Garrus had been glad the biotic had survived Virmire. He thought of the lieutenant as his friend, and had genuinely been happy when he and Shepard had decided to get together, Alliance regulations be damned.

That's why when Alenko had called him a traitor on Horizon along with Shepard, Garrus had taken it _personally_.

The half-assed apology, which Shepard had later shown him, had only served to lower his opinion of the man. Shepard had of course tried to laugh it all off like some huge joke, but Garrus had seen the sadness in her eyes; the unshed tears from the realization that the man she loved, the man whose framed holo still sat beside her bed, had moved on and left her behind.

In hindsight, that was the point at which something within Shepard had truly hardened. With the Alliance, her mentor and even her lover turning their backs on her, she had gradually begun to think of herself as truly alone. With no one willing to support her except Cerberus, and nothing else to focus on except the fight against the Reapers, she had started to become colder and more ruthless: a real "_end justifies the means_" person.

Still, it had not been completely bad. With Alenko out of the picture, Shepard and Garrus had finally been able to look past their friendship and see the real feelings they had for each other. At that point, Garrus had almost felt grateful to Alenko for his pig-headedness, since it had helped him experience the love of a wonderful woman like Shepard.

But then the Reapers arrived and _everything_ went to hell.

He remembered speaking to Vega after his pickup from Menae. The young lieutenant had told him about the argument between Shepard and Major Alenko (_Spirits. . . seriously, who made that idiot a Major?_) on Mars; how, once again, Alenko had called Shepard's loyalties into question, once again accused her of working for Cerberus, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

It was lucky that they had been light-years away from the Citadel at that point, or Garrus would have ripped off that foolish human's hands and beaten him to death with them.

Spirits, how could _anyone_ be so stupid? The Reapers had arrived, their worlds were burning and Alenko was still obsessed with Cerberus!?

His own superiors, Hackett and Anderson, had no qualms about trusting Shepard with the fate of the galaxy. Did he honestly think _he_ knew better than them?

Still, in the end, Shepard had gone and made up with the moron as he lay recovering in the hospital. Garrus had grumbled about her being too forgiving for her own good, but she'd merely smiled and told him that with the end of the galaxy so near, she didn't want to lose any more friends than she already had.

And how did Alenko repay this trust? By pointing a _gun_ at her head.

Just thinking about that day made his blood boil in rage. He had chosen to side with Udina, _Udina, _of all people instead of Shepard.

_In the name of the spirits, how could anyone be so blind?_

This was the same human who had locked down the Normandy SR1 and refused to let Shepard go after Saren for the sake of political expediency. This was the same human who had barely waited six months after her death to start tearing down everything she had stood for and pushing his own agenda. This was the same human who had taken advantage of the Bahak relay disaster to push Anderson out of the Council and claim the seat for himself.

And Alenko had chosen to side with _him_? After everything Shepard had done for the _ungrateful bastard_?

Naturally, Garrus had been grimly satisfied when he watched Shepard gun down the Major without hesitation.

Yet, despite his best efforts, Shepard had not emerged from that encounter completely unscathed.

Far from it.

Perhaps it was the shock of causing one friend's death, and witnessing another's soon after, but something within Shepard had finally died that day. She had become, if possible, colder and even more ruthless, not to mention _dangerously _obsessed with Cerberus.

There was nothing Garrus could do after that but watch helplessly as the woman he loved lost herself completely in the war with Reapers. She did not shed a single tear as Tali (who had been like a sister to her) fell to her death in despair, did not so much as bat an eyelid as Miranda died in her sister's arms, did not so much as twitch as she watched Thessia fall to the Reapers. . . .

Garrus had known then, that the Shepard he knew and loved, had died that day on the Citadel beside Alenko.

He shook his head. He was being over-dramatic now. It was unfair to lay the entire blame of the previous timeline at Kaidan Alenko's feet.

He knew he was more than a little biased with his understanding of past events, and when it came to Shepard, his reasoning usually went out the window.

Besides, it just wasn't right to punish a man for simply what he _might _do in the future.

He nodded decisively. Yes, this was going too far.

He pocketed the can of itching powder and strode away. Perhaps it was time to forgive the lieutenant and move on.

He was better than this. His father had taught him better than this. _Shepard_ had taught him better than this. He was not a petty turian. He was. . . .

He froze at the sight before him.

Shepard and Alenko were standing close together, the former laughing, albeit a little forcefully, at one of the latter's pathetic attempts at a joke. Garrus watched as Alenko handed her a datapad, hand lingering just a moment too long on hers. She thanked him and walked away, and Garrus caught the biotic checking her out as she strode out of sight.

Garrus turned on his heel and walked back. Turns out, he still hadn't forgiven the lieutenant after all. . . .

* * *

**AN: I would like to make this clear once again Shenko fans, I am NOT indulging in Alenko-bashing (at least not in this fic).  
**

**This fic deals with _Garrus_' POV on the events of the ME universe. Given Garrus' tendency to see things in a black and white, and coupled with the fact that he's dealing with Shepard's ex, it's obvious that he harbors some amount of resentment against Alenko. Remember, for all his attempts at objectivity, he's still a bit of an unreliable narrator here; and he _knows_ it.  
**

**Also, I've always found it a bit weird how readily Shepard seems to forgive Kaidan/Ashley in ME3. Soldiers, in general, take great offense at having their loyalty to their country questioned by anybody, least of all their subordinates. Accusing a soldier, especially an officer of Shepard's rank and history, of being a traitor and working with the enemy is the single, worst possible insult one can throw at them. This is another issue that I hope to address further in the story.  
**

**Reviews are welcome.**


	7. Chapter 7

There were days when Ashley Williams wondered if transferring to the SSV Normandy was _worth_ all the trouble.

It wasn't as if she was trying to sound ungrateful or anything. A posting on the Alliance's new flagship was something most people would have given their firstborns to have. A few months ago, Ashley herself would have gladly volunteered for the position of janitor for a chance to serve on this amazing ship.

And now. . . well, now she was serving as Armory Chief on the Normandy under the direct command of the Hero of Elysium herself! And she didn't even have to clean any toilets to get there!

Still, she groused as she cleaned out the last remnants of Thorian slime from her armor, it would've been nice if there were no crazy turian Spectres with armies of robots hell bent on genocide involved.

Seriously! Prothean beacons, crazy visions, mind-controlling plants, asari archaeologists. . . .

She sighed as she reached for a bottle of cleaning fluid. _This stuff is way above my pay grade._

Still, she wondered, things weren't so bad.

Shepard's exceptional leadership meant that all of their missions so far had been rather successful, even if the collateral damage was a little high sometimes. Being on the Normandy under the command of humanity's first Spectre meant that Ashley was one of those lucky individuals who got to see history in the making. God, people were going be talking about this stuff for decades to come; and she, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, would be able to say that she had _been_ there, by _Commander Shepard's_ side, when humanity would go on to make its mark on the galaxy.

_Wish Dad could see me right now. Old man would be proud._

She nodded. Yeah, things were definitely good on the Normandy. Heck, even the aliens on the ship would probably agree with her.

_Speaking of the aliens, _Ashley stole a glance at the sleeping form of Wrex, curled up on the floor near his usual place in the cargo hold.

She would be the first one to admit she'd had severe doubts about letting the aliens aboard the ship. The Normandy was a first-of-its-kind Alliance prototype vessel, for God's sake! Who knew what kind of secret, experimental technology was involved here? It just didn't seem right that they were being given free run of the ship and its systems.

Still, the Commander had assured her that she trusted them, and frankly, who was Ashley Williams to argue with the Hero of the Skyllian Blitz? Heck, she was just a grunt who shot things, while the Commander had spent practically her whole life aboard spaceships. No doubt Shepard knew what she was doing, and Ashley wasn't stupid enough to annoy a CO who seemed to genuinely care about her so much.

It helped that Shepard had been proven right in the end. Far from being a liability, the aliens had turned out to be a blessing from Heaven. Tali was probably the most skilled engineer Ashley had ever seen, the old krogan had long since earned her respect on the battlefield and even Liara, who Ashley had initially dismissed as a useless nerd, was quite the biotic powerhouse.

The turian on the other hand. . . .

She glanced over at the Mako, where Garrus Vakarian was busy fiddling with the suspension systems, as usual. The turian had been the biggest surprise of them all.

Her initial impression of the C-Sec officer hadn't been all that great. Even though he had been the one to get them the evidence on Saren, Ashley had doubted his abilities. When he had requested Shepard to let him join the Normandy, she had been suspicious of his intentions (part of her _still_ was). Either way, she hadn't been too concerned. She'd doubted a mere police officer would be able to keep up with the rest of them on the field.

She had been _so_ wrong.

On the battlefield, Garrus Vakarian was a force of nature. She watched him do things with a sniper rifle that would've put the best snipers in the Alliance to shame. His sheer skill and tactical prowess on the field was only matched by Shepard herself, and the way he fell in sync with the rest of the team showed an adaptability she'd seen only among Special Forces.

It was enough to make her feel glad he was on _their_ side.

If Ashley had to be perfectly honest with herself however, she had come to think of the aliens as _more_ than just fellow soldiers. Tali reminded her so much of her own younger sisters that Ashley started to feel protective of her sometimes, Wrex was something of a grumpy old grandpa/mentor figure to the whole group and even Liara had started to grow on her (when she shut up about the Protheans anyway). She even got along with Vakarian well enough, pain in the ass that he was sometimes.

Yep, she nodded, there were plenty of good things about being on the Normandy.

"Hey, Ash."

_And speaking of good things. . . .  
_

"Hey there, LT," Ashley grinned at the biotic alighting from the elevator.

"You can call me Kaidan when we're off duty, you know" Alenko said as he walked up to her station. "Late night?"

"Just finishing up some work on the armor, Kaidan," she replied, fighting a sudden urge to giggle. _Christ, get a grip, Ash! You're a marine, not some teenager chatting with her first crush!_

Alenko peered at the mess on her work station. "Hmmm, yeah. You should probably think about getting a new set. That thing looks like it's pretty much done."

"Yeah, I was going to ask the Commander about getting a new set. But with all that business with the Thorian and that asari mumbo jumbo, I just didn't feel like disturbing her."

"I'll put in a requisitions order for you," Alenko promised.

"You don't have to. . . ."

"It's no problem, Ash. I need to get some things for the others anyways."

"Thanks, Kaidan," Ashley said gratefully. She had to struggle to prevent herself from batting her eyelashes at the handsome soldier. _Goddamn it!_

Alenko smiled at her as he opened his locker and started rummaging around for something. "Damn it," he cursed. "Why does my pistol always end up at the very back?"

Ashley slowly licked her lips. She didn't have the heart to tell the good lieutenant that _she_ was the reason his pistol always ended up in the hard-to-reach areas of his locker. _Girl's got needs and all that._

She sighed softly as the biotic bent over into his locker, giving her an ample view of his backside. _What wouldn't I give to get a chance to hit that? Or maybe get some alone time with him in the showers?_

She turned back to her station reluctantly as Alenko finally emerged from his locker, pistol in hand. He bade her goodnight and strode back to the elevator.

She watched him walk away with a soft sigh on her lips, eyes doing their very best to soak in the view of his assets. She wondered if it'd be worth getting a mark on her record for fraternization, if it meant getting a chance to tap that booty.

_Maybe if I get him drunk enough. . .  
_

She heaved a long-suffering sigh and turned back to her workstation, intending to wrap up everything and get a few hours in the sleeping pod. . .

. . . only to find herself standing practically nose to nose with a tall mass of armored turian.

"Gah!" she yelped, jumping backwards in surprise.

"Hello Williams," Garrus Vakarian said smoothly.

_Why that spiky, scaly son of a. . .  
_

"Dammit Vakarian!" she snapped. "You nearly scared the crap out of me! What d'you want?"

"Who me? Nothing," he said. Then in a move so casual, you could barely see it, "Wasn't that Lt Alenko you were speaking to just now?"

Ashley narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Yeah, it was. Why do _you_ care?"

"Nothing. Just making some small talk, that's all," he shrugged.

"Yeah? Go somewhere else then," she muttered, turning back to her workstation. She had a cold shower waiting for her.

"You're the only one awake over here," he pointed out diplomatically. A heartbeat later, "Say, you wouldn't happen to know why the lieutenant always seems to have problems with his locker, would you?"

She froze. _He knows. The bastard knows!_

She slowly turned around to fix the turian with her trademark Williams-glare. Just because she respected the scaly asshole on the field didn't mean she trusted him. Ashley would be the first to admit that Vakarian was one hell of a sneaky bastard, constantly using the dirtiest of tricks to take down his opponents. Anyone who was stupid enough to buy his _'innocent turian'_ act deserved to get shot.

"What the hell are you on about, Vakarian?"

"Who me? Nothing at all." Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth (if there was such a thing as dextro-butter). "I'm just curious as to why your vitals go haywire whenever the lieutenant is around, that's all."

Ashley blinked. "My what?"

"You know," he tapped his visor with one talon. "Increase in heart rate, rapid breathing, pupil dilation, increasing heat generation from specific regions of the body, particularly erogenous. . . ."

"All right, fine, I get the point!" she cut him off, fighting hard to conceal a blush. She then took a deep breath. "Look Vakarian, it's not whatever you think it is. Just drop it, okay?"

"Come now, Williams," Ashley was no expert on reading his expressions, but even _she_ could tell he had the turian version of a shit-eating grin on his face. "There's no need to hide stuff like that from me. After all, we're battle-buddies, aren't we?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "It's none of your business. And since when the hell did _you_ become so perceptive about this kind of shit, huh?"

"Seriously, Williams," he pretended to buff his talons on the plate of his armor. "'_Awesome C-Sec detective_', remember? Or did you think I got the job because of my good looks?"

"Oh, I very much doubt your '_looks'_ had anything to do with it, bird-brain," she muttered under her breath. Aloud she said, "Assuming there even _was_ something going on, there's no way I'm going to act on it. Alliance has a ton of regulations against fraternization on the ship."

"Ah yes, '_regulations_'", he flicked his talons to make air-quotes. _Seriously, where the hell did he learn to do that? _"Pesky little things, aren't they? Besides, it's not as if they really do a good job of keeping people from actively _looking_ for relationships."

"What the hell are you getting at?" she growled.

"Well," he leaned forward conspiratorially. "Rumor on the ship has it that our lieutenant has a soft spot for a certain Commander, if you catch my drift."

Ashley felt her heart sink. She knew only too well what he was talking about. Scuttlebutt on the ship had pretty much confirmed a while back that Alenko was openly smitten with Commander Shepard. It was subtle as hell but anyone who knew what to look for could figure it out pretty easily. Ashley herself had never joined in on the gossip though. She found it exceedingly rude to openly postulate on what her superiors may or may not be doing; plus she didn't want to give Shepard any excuses to kick her off the ship.

Grimly, she wondered if Vakarian was telling her this just to mess with her mind. She was therefore about to tell the turian gossip-queen where _exactly_ he could shove his rumors when he spoke. "Personally, I think he's wasting his time though."

She blinked. "What're you talking about?"

"Well," he drawled. "Rumor _also _has it that Shepard's been spending a lot of time with a certain archaeologist these days."

Ashley was outraged. "The Commander is _not_ a xenophile!"

"She's not a _xenophobe_, either," Garrus pointed out. "Besides, there's a reason asari are so _popular_ all over the galaxy, you know."

She shook her head stubbornly. "She's probably just discussing that Prothean stuff with Liara, Vakarian. I'm pretty sure Shepard doesn't look at her that way."

"Probably not. But you can't tell me Liara doesn't look at _her_ that way."

Ashley scratched her chin thoughtfully. It was no secret that Liara was openly crushing on the Commander. The signs were all there. Her eagerness to accompany them on every single mission, the way she blushed whenever Shepard complimented her, the way she stammered when the Commander brought up any sensitive topics for discussion, the way her eyes lit up whenever Shepard talked about the Protheans. . .

Even an idiot could tell that she had feelings for the Commander.

_Too bad Shepard's more than a bit of an idiot in that department._

For all her strategic brilliance and quick thinking, the Commander tended to be woefully oblivious when she was being hit on. Even some of the most obvious gestures seemed to go right over her head. It was almost painful to watch sometimes.

Probably explained why Liara reacted the way she did at the last party.

After the gang had gotten Liara drunk, the young asari had proceeded to tell everyone who'd listen that Shepard was an avatar of the Protheans and an answer to all her prayers to the Goddess Athame. Then, to the delight of all the males (and even quite a few females) in the vicinity, she had moved to pull the surprised Commander into a steamy kiss and would probably have gone further if she hadn't passed out on the floor.

Heck, even someone as thick-skulled as Shepard would've figured it out after _that _performance.

Ashley shook herself out of reverie and glanced at the sly turian standing beside her. "I still find it hard to believe that Shepard would choose Liara over the LT."

"Well, you know what they say, Williams, '_Once you go blue, nothing else will do_.'"

"Yeah. . . I'm pretty sure they weren't thinking of _asari_ when they said that."

"That's not the point," Garrus waved a long talon under her nose. "The point is, when the good lieutenant eventually gets his heart broken, don't you want to be there to help him pick up the pieces?"

"That's. . . ." Ashley sputtered. "That's none of your business! And since when did you start caring about my love life, anyways?"

"Come now, Williams. Don't be like that. If we soldiers don't watch each other's backs, then who will?"

Ashley folded her hands and glared at him suspiciously. She still had no idea what his game was and she was _not_ going to fall for his tricks.

_But, what if he's right? _said a small voice in her head. _Would it really be so bad if I could get Kaidan to be interested in me?_

Being from a military family meant that Ashley's dating prospects were severely limited. There was no way she could hope to date or get settled down with a civilian, she was just too much of a marine. Plus, relationships between soldiers in the Alliance were not that uncommon. Shepard herself was the only child of two Alliance officers.

Kaidan was cute, and he was an officer to boot. He was kind, sensitive and a nice guy overall, even if he could be a bit of a dork sometimes (_walking around with toilet paper trailing behind him, seriously_). Given his skills and his intelligence, his rise in Alliance ranks was practically guaranteed; and now that Ashley had a CO like Shepard, she could probably say goodbye to the old Williams family curse, and get a couple of overdue promotions herself. If what Vakarian was saying was true, then she had a good shot at having a real, meaningful relationship, _and_ get a chance to tap that perky bottom!

She bit her lip and looked at Vakarian, who for some reason looked inordinately pleased with himself. "I don't know. . . doesn't seem right, taking advantage of him like that."

"I believe you humans have a saying: '_All is fair in love and war_'." he reminded her.

"It's a heavy risk. . ."

"But the _priiiiiize_," he insisted.

She shook her head and gathered her things. "I'll. . . I'll think about it. Goodnight, Vakarian."

"Sweet dreams," he called out to her as she hurried to the elevator.

'_Sweet dreams?' Right! More like wet ones._

If Ashley Williams had chosen to turn back at that instant, she would have seen something truly horrifying.

Watching her leave with a predatory gleam in his eyes, was a turian with a most evil smirk on his face. A smirk so very evil, in fact, that had Sovereign seen it, he'd run back screaming to Harbinger and the other Reapers.

_Indeed Williams, all is fair in love and war. . . .  
_

And this was a little bit of both.

* * *

**AN: Next up, our favorite turian takes a trip to his least favorite place in the galaxy. . . Noveria.  
**

**Stay tuned, folks :)**

**Remember, reviews are most welcome. **


	8. Chapter 8

Garrus had once heard Ashley Williams state that human hell was supposed to be full of fire and molten sulphur.

He supposed if there was a _turian_ version of hell around there somewhere, it would have to be Noveria.

He drew his mandibles tight to his face and looked around distastefully. Noveria was a representation of everything Garrus Vakarian despised, though it was hard to say what irritated him the most. Maybe it was the biting cold, maybe it was the way the Noveria Development Corporation turned a purposeful blind eye to all the borderline unethical experiments conducted in their labs, maybe it was the fact that places like Noveria were directly responsible for organizations like Cerberus running unchecked across the galaxy. . .

. . . or maybe it was because this was the place where Liara T'Soni's innocence came to die.

He glanced at the nervous young asari standing beside Commander Shepard, listening to her conversation with Anoleis' secretary regarding Matriarch Benezia's whereabouts.

Garrus had often wondered when it was that Liara had gone from being the naïve young researcher they all knew to one of the most ruthless information brokers in the galaxy. He had always assumed that fighting the Shadow Broker over Shepard's remains and losing her drell friend had hardened the young asari, taught her a lesson about the galaxy's cruelty just like Omega had taught him. He always thought it was the two years they'd all spent without Shepard and the pressures of waging a private war with the Broker that had turned Liara into a colder and much more reserved individual.

But looking back, Noveria was where it had truly begun. It was here that Liara was forced to watch as the mind of the woman she loved more than any other crumbled under the weight of Sovereign's indoctrination. Being forced to fight for your life against your own family, and then watching them fall apart being unable to even control their own consciousness; watching someone you loved begging for the mercy of death, incapable of bearing their imprisonment within their own head. . . . it was a testament to Liara T'Soni's inner strength that she had not broken down completely after this incident.

But she hadn't come out of it completely unscathed. Even though none of them had seen it back then, something within Liara had changed after Noveria. She smiled at lot less, she no longer chattered about Protheans at the drop of a hat and she became more intense, more focused on the battlefield. Garrus had put it down to grief and shock at that time, but now he knew better.

The truth was that a part of Liara T'Soni had died on Noveria alongside her mother. The naïve young archaeologist who saw the galaxy through rose-colored glasses was gone, and in her place was someone else, someone darker; someone who would eventually go on to became the Shadow Broker herself.

For Garrus and the rest of the gang, Ashley Williams' death on Virmire had been the real turning point. What had upto that point been a simple, professional assignment had became something personal. But for Liara T'Soni, hunting Saren and stopping the Reapers had _always_ been personal.

In a way, Garrus understood. In the previous timeline, he had watched his mother slowly succumb to the horrors of Corpalis Syndrome. At the end of her life, she had barely been able to recognize her own children. Her death had almost been a blessing from the Spirits, especially since the Reapers had hit the galaxy barely three months later.

But at least Garrus had had months to come to terms with _his_ mother's death. Liara had been forced to go through that hell and then put herself back together in the blink of an eye.

For the thousandth time, Garrus mentally chided himself. _This_, right here, was the reason they had lost the war in the first place! How could they have been so _blind_ to everything going around them? They were supposed to be comrades, friends. . . but all they had ever done was bitch about their own problems to Shepard, instead of trying to find ways to help each other. Instead of letting her focus completely on the war with the Reapers, they had gotten her to play psychologist to all of them!

They were _all_ equally guilty! Tali had always worried about the Migrant Fleet, even when she was light-years away from them; Wrex had been borderline obsessed with the genophage and had pretty much given up on his own people; Williams and Alenko were only concerned about their mission and their beloved Alliance; and he. . . he had been a _fool_. The greatest fool of them all!

He should have been there for his friends when they needed him the most, he should have done his best to get to know them all better when he'd had the chance, he should have recognized his own potential for leadership and worked _with_ Shepard. Instead, he had been obsessed with justice, morality and the Spirits-damned _right_ way to do things. Even _after_ Shepard had died, instead of working to help prepare the galaxy for the Reapers, he had gone off to Omega. . . _Omega_, of all the Spirits-damned places in the galaxy, to play vigilante!

In a way, his father had been right about him: he had _wasted_ his potential. And in the end they had _all_ payed the price for it.

He snapped out of his internal rant as Shepard led them out of the Administrator's office. He watched as she took Tali and Wrex with herself to meet with Lorik Qui'in. As soon as they were in the elevator, Garrus excused himself from the others and walked away purposefully.

He had failed his friends once. He'd be damned if he did it again.

* * *

"This one offers greetings! You are a friend of the Spectre that visits Port Hanshan?"

Garrus gave a wary glance at Opold, the hanar shopkeeper. To be perfectly honest, he had no idea why he was doing this.

_No harm in having a backup plan or two, I guess. . .  
_

"Yeah, I am," he replied casually. "What sort of goods do you have, anyway?"

"This one would be happy to show you this one's humble wares."

Garrus pretended to browse the store terminal with a bored expression on his face. He knew from his C-Sec experiences that hanar were great at reading the body language of most species, despite their detached appearances.

"Hmmm, nothing that catches my fancy, I'm afraid. Don't you have any. . . _special_ items I could look at?"

"This one is afraid this is all this one has." There was a hint of wariness in Opold's voice.

Garrus decided to twist the knife a little. "You sure of that? Hmm, that's funny. I could've sworn this was the place Inamorda mentioned. Maybe it was some other hanar he was talking about." He turned to leave.

"Wait!" cried Opold as Garrus reached the exit. "This one was unaware that you are a friend of Inamorda." It approached him slowly. "This one regrets that it does not have anything special at the moment. Would you be willing to return later?"

_Gotcha. _"Yeah, sure, no problem. I'm looking to do a lot of business anyways."

"One more thing. Sometime in the future I may require some. . . stuff that might not be strictly _legal_ in Council space. Can I count on you to help me acquire them?"

"Of course." The hanar lit up with joy (literally, in this case) at the prospect of future business. "This one will send you its mailing address and a list of contacts for future deals." Garrus' omni-tool pinged. "As an apology, this one would like to offer the good customer a discount on its wares."

Never one to pass up on a discount, Garrus bought himself a weapon mod and strolled out of the store.

* * *

He braced himself. This was it! The whole reason he so desperately wanted to accompany Shepard to Noveria in the first place. . . .

"Commander, wait!"

Shepard paused, her hand hovering over the control panel before the tank containing the Rachni Queen.

"If you kill her, you consign an entire race to death. It's genocide, Shepard. You can't do this!"

"What?" Wrex bellowed. "Listen, _turian_! Millions of my ancestors died to put these things down. We can't let them come back!"

Garrus ignored him, his eyes locked with Shepard's. "The Queen's an innocent, Shepard! She never did anything to deserve a death like this. She's just a mother, cut-off forcefully from her children. You heard what the scientist at the hot labs said. What happened here isn't her fault!"

"He's right, Shepard," Liara spoke, still kneeling beside Benezia's body. Her body was still hoarse with grief, her eyes red from crying. "She's no different from any other mother trying to protect her children. It's not right to simply murder her like this!"

"Are you out of your mind?" Wrex was outraged. "The rachni nearly _destroyed_ the galaxy the last time they were free!"

"So did _your_ people, Wrex. Does that mean they deserve to die as well?" Garrus said bitingly.

Wrex looked like he was about to attack him when Shepard cut him off. "Enough! We are _not_ starting that old argument, again." She rubbed her temples tiredly. "Look, I don't like this, either. But, Wrex is right. There's a good chance the rachni might try to start a war again."

"If we went around killing people simply because of what they _might_ do, Commander, the galaxy would be a pretty empty place," Garrus stated.

"I don't know," Tali said slowly. "If my people had the chance to destroy the geth back when they were still under our control, I'm sure they would take it."

_Spirits, Tali! Not now! _

"It's not the same thing, Tali, and you know it! The geth are machines, _she_," he gestured to the queen, "is a living, sapient being. If we kill her, we'll be cold-blooded murderers. It isn't right!"

For what felt like an eternity, Shepard stared at him. He held her gaze, not even daring to breathe, silently begging her to make the right choice.

_Please, Shepard!_

Shepard turned back to the queen. "If I let you live, would you attack the other races again?"

"No!" exclaimed the queen, through her asari medium. "We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return."

Shepard hesitated, her finger on the control panel. Then to Garrus' immense relief, she stepped back. "No, I can't do this. I'll let you go free."

"You. . .will give us the chance to compose anew?" The queen sounded almost surprised. "We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children."

"Great," Wrex grumbled. "Bugs are writing songs about you." He shook his head. "Mark my words, Shepard. You'll regret this."

Shepard ignored him, activating the console to release the containment pod. The queen gave one last glance at Shepard, and to Garrus' surprise, him, and crawled away to freedom.

"I hope we made the right decision." Tali said fervently.

_So do I, Tali. So do I._

Truth be told, he had no idea why he'd thought about sparing the Rachni Queen. In the previous timeline, the entire team, with the exception of Liara (and maybe Alenko) had agreed that destroying the queen was the safest thing to do. In Garrus' own experience, dealing with rachni had never done them any good. He still remembered how much releasing the queen on Utukku had cost them in the previous timeline. Not only had Grunt and his entire team given their lives to help them escape, but the queen, who been indoctrinated all along (_big surprise), _had turned on them, resulting in heavy losses to the war effort.

Then why _had_ he done it?

Maybe it was because he remembered how badly it had affected Shepard in the previous timeline, when she'd been forced to commit genocide in the name of the greater good; maybe it was because it felt wrong to take the life of an innocent mother fighting simply to keep her children safe; maybe it was the small smile of gratitude that Shepard shot him on their way out of the labs. . .

. . . or maybe it was simply because he believed that like _him_, there was someone else out there who deserved a second chance to make things right.

* * *

**AN: I'd like to thank all my readers for their wonderful reviews. Glad to see you've been enjoying yourselves so far :)  
**

**As for why Garrus has chosen to make deals with Opold of all people, you're gonna have to wait to find out ;)  
**


	9. Chapter 9

". . . really grateful to Shepard for the geth data. . . help the Flotilla. . take back our home world. . . ."

Garrus Vakarian sighed as he watched Tali chatter animatedly with a bemused looking Liara.

Spirits, how much had he missed this!

There was a human saying about not knowing what you had until you lost it. Garrus felt he could relate to this better than anyone. He'd experienced it exactly thrice in his life in the previous timeline: first when he'd lost Shepard, second when he'd lost his mother. . .

. . . and the third time when he'd lost Tali.

He gazed wistfully at Tali. Out of all the friends he'd made on the Normandy, Tali had definitely been his favorite (with the exception of Shepard herself). Intelligent, quick-witted, armed with a razor-sharp tongue and her beloved shotgun, she reminded him so much of his own younger sister that he had to catch himself before calling her 'Solana' sometimes. There had been a time when he had thought of her as just another naïve little quarian, unworthy of much attention like the rest of her species. He still remembered some of the things he'd said to her back then.

"_It is natural for people to dislike rootless wanderers. If the quarians would just settle on another home world, you would not run into such concerns."_

"_The quarians endangered the entire galaxy when they let the geth break free. I hope your people are properly contrite, Tali."_

Spirits, he had been such an asshole! Joker hadn't exaggerated at all about the stick up his ass. There had been times when he'd wished he could go back in time and beat his younger self to death with it!

_Thank the Spirits I retained my memories and experiences when I came back, otherwise I'd have actually done it!_

Fortunately, all that had soon changed to a protective older-brother feeling. He'd even promised himself, watching her break down over her father's corpse back on the Alarei, that he would look after her as if she was his own blood; that he wouldn't let her down like her own people had.

_But I broke that promise. I let her down, just like everyone else did._

He still remembered that fateful day on Rannoch when Shepard condemned the entire quarian fleet to death at the hands of the geth. He remembered how she had begged Legion to stop the upload, had practically fallen on her knees and pleaded with Shepard and him to call off the attack and spare her people. He remembered doing nothing to stop Shepard, even turning his back on Tali in a cold dismissal of her grief.

_Ruthless calculus. Sacrifices had to be made in war._ He'd repeated those words to himself over and over again, trying to drown out the dying screams of 17 million quarians, trying to drown out Tali's scream of anguish and despair as all her hopes and dreams burned around her.

He'd turned his head just in time to see Tali standing at the edge of a cliff, her mask dropping to her side. He saw her beautiful face for the first time in her life, contorted in unfathomable grief, saw her spread her hands and fall backwards, saw Shepard rush to the edge and make a futile attempt at grabbing her hand, saw her disappear, going to join her people in death. . . .

"Garrus? Garrus. . . Garrus!"

He started, blinking rapidly to clear his mind of the nightmare he had gotten lost in. He focused his eyes to see both Liara and Tali looking at him in concern.

"Are you all right, Garrus?" Liara asked. "You seemed kind of tense there, for a moment."

"I'm fine," Garrus said. He realized he had unconsciously been digging his talons into the surface of the mess table. "Just thinking, that's all. . . ."

"Anything in particular?" she enquired. It was obvious from her tone that she wanted to talk about something, _anything_, to keep her mind off of Noveria. Garrus actually approved. It was better than her locking herself up in her room, anyway.

"I was thinking about the quarians, and their problems with the geth," he replied.

"What _about_ the quarians?" there was a note of defensiveness in Tali's voice.

He held up his hands in a placating manner. "I was just thinking how different things would've turned out if the Council had chosen to react differently during the Geth War."

"What do you mean?" Liara asked curiously.

_Well, here goes nothing._

"Back when the geth overran the quarian colonies and Rannoch, the survivors requested the Citadel Council for aid in reclaiming their homes. But instead of helping them, the Council voided their membership and stripped them of their embassy, as punishment for breaking the laws regarding creation of AIs. They even went one step further and denied the quarians permission to colonize other worlds, effectively _forcing_ them to live aboard their ships."

"They were so hung up on the idea of making an example out of the quarians that they completely ignored the, what's that saying the humans have. . . the _elephant_ in the room. Instead of looking for a way to deal with the geth, the Council allowed them to run unchecked throughout the Perseus Veil, until their numbers became too high for any effective action to be taken."

"Now, just imagine for a moment, how _different_ things would've turned out if the Council had chosen to _act _instead of simply wasting their time with their ineffectual politics?"

"I hear ya," said Ashley, who was sitting nearby listening intently. "If the Council had actually _done_ something, the quarians would probably still have their homes and the geth would never have left the Veil." She clenched her fist tightly. "And Eden Prime would _never_ have happened."

"My point, exactly," Garrus was pleased to note that a lot more people were listening in. "This is a mistake the Council has made over and over again. Each time they had an opportunity to take care of a problem, they kept putting it off, until the problem became too huge for _anyone_ to solve without paying a steep price. The Council's reluctance to act when they had the means and opportunity to do so has led to unintended consequences, some of which have threatened the very fate of the galaxy. They made the same mistake with the Rachni, they made the same mistake with the Krogan, they made the same mistake with the Geth and frankly. . . I think they're making the same mistake with Saren."

"Are you calling my people a _mistake_, turian?" Wrex growled, his voice silencing everyone in the mess.

Garrus steeled himself. This wasn't going to be easy.

_But I have to say it._

"No, Wrex. I'm saying the way the Council dealt with the Krogan Rebellions was a mistake. The genophage may have been the right strategy to use back then, I wasn't there so I can't honestly judge. But _allowing_ the genophage to continue a whole millennium after the war is just asking for a whole new kind of trouble. The Council _won_ that war; they should either have pushed to completely eradicate the krogan, or they should've started working to rehabilitate them: given them a cure and helped them find a different way of life. But leaving the krogan hanging in the middle, leaving them to watch their entire race die a slow death. . . can anyone honestly blame the krogan for being as bitter as they are?"

A silence fell over the group as everyone contemplated Garrus' words. Wrex however simply stared at him in shock, as though he couldn't honestly believe that a _turian_ was defending his people.

It was Alenko who finally spoke. "You've got a good point there, Garrus. But frankly, I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done about it. Humanity is still too new to the galactic scene to hope to cause any significant changes over the next few centuries. Besides, if that's how the Council has worked over the last few millennia, I'm not sure if there'll ever be any _real_ change on the galactic front, at least not in _our_ lifetimes."

Garrus merely shook his head. "Honestly, lieutenant. I think change in galactic politics has been long since overdue." He got to his feet, slowly looking over the entire room. "Mark my words, someday this galaxy will end up facing a threat _far_ worse than anything it has ever seen. Worse than the Rachni, worse than the Krogan, worse than the Geth. . . . and we'd all better be ready to face it together, or we'll go down in flames together."

He turned and walked out of the mess hall, leaving a stunned silence in the wake of his extraordinary pronouncement.

He smiled softly to himself.

_The seeds have been planted. Now let's see what kind of fruit it yields._

* * *

Jahleed was having a real bad day.

He'd spent most of the morning at the C-Sec Academy, trying to convince someone to '_take care_' of Chorban for him. He remembered being approached by a young turian C-Sec officer who informed him that he had been assigned to investigate his claims. The officer had then proceeded to question him thoroughly about Chorban and their relationship and then walked him out of the academy, assuring him that everything would be handled to his satisfaction.

Next thing he knew, he was waking up in an abandoned warehouse, handcuffed to a chair. In front of him, in a similar predicament and looking just as confused as he felt, was none other than the salarian, Chorban!

He had absolutely no idea how he'd gotten there! Dimly, he recalled feeling a strange sensation in his pressure-suit, as if someone had injected him with something. But before he could proceed along this train of thought, the door slid open and their captor walked in. Jahleed could make out an assault rifle in his hands, the dim glow of his visor reflecting off it.

_It's him! That turian C-Sec officer who offered to help!_

"Please!" Chorban screamed, trying to free himself desperately. "Don't kill me! I want to live! I want to live!"

"If I wanted to kill you, you both would already be dead by now. Now stop screaming." He casually took a seat, rifle hanging at his side.

"Wh-Wh-What do you want?" Jahleed asked fearfully.

The turian merely regarded him for a moment. "I know you two are secretly scanning the keepers on the Citadel for some sort of project."

"We'll stop!" Chorban cried. "You can have the scanner! You can have the research! Please, just let me go!"

"If you'll shut up for a moment, perhaps I can finish?" the turian asked quietly. Chorban fell silent. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I know you two are secretly researching the keepers."

"Now, I don't know what problems you two have with each other, and frankly, I don't care. What I _do_ care about is the project you two are working on."

"So, here's what's going to happen. You guys are going to find a way to work together, you will find someone to help you scan all the keepers to get your data, you will finish your research. . . and finally, you will share your results with me, and me alone."

Jahleed merely stared at the turian incredulously. "You _want_ us to research the keepers?"

"Are you hard of hearing or something? I believe that is what I just said. I want you to work on this project _together_, and send me your findings. Rest assured you both will be compensated for your efforts; and if I like what you send me, I will be _most_ generous."

For a long time, Jahleed and Chorban stared at each other, contemplating their options. As one, they nodded.

"It's a deal!" Jahleed said, trying to inject some confidence into his voice.

"Can we go home, now?" Chorban asked timidly.

"By all means," the turian got up from his chair, idly collapsing the rifle. "But I would strongly advise you to not repeat this conversation to anyone else, nor to share your findings with anyone. Otherwise the consequences will be most. . . unpleasant." He turned to leave.

"Wait!" Jahleed cried, stopping him in his tracks. "Who-who _are_ you?"

The turian didn't even turn around. "My name is Archangel, and that's all you need to know. Goodbye, gentlemen."

* * *

Garrus exhaled a tired breath as he gazed out towards the Presidium Lake.

Truth be told, he was glad that Shepard had chosen to give them shore leave on the Citadel. He knew it was meant to be mostly for Liara's benefit, and possibly even for her own, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

He knew what was going to happen next. The next mission was one he dreaded almost as much as Virmire. But it had less to do with what they'd be facing, and more to do with the possible consequences of his actions, or rather his choices.

Balak was going to die.

In his mind, the outcome was already decided. It did not matter whether the hostages that he would eventually take on Asteroid X57 lived or died, Balak was _not_ going to get off that hunk of rock alive. Garrus was going to make sure of that.

He sighed. He knew that by killing Balak, he was condemning an entire race to death at the Reapers' hands.

When the Reapers would finally attack the galaxy, the batarian Hegemony would be completely decimated. With Balak dead, the remaining batarians would have no leaders to turn to in their time of need. Their fleets would be decimated, their colonies would burn. . . .

. . . . and if Garrus played his cards right, he could get the Reapers to focus _exclusively_ on the batarians for a while, buying the rest of them precious time.

He was under no illusions of what he was doing. This was genocide, pure and simple. He was condemning the batarians to extinction. But it's not like he had the luxury of choice. When the Reapers arrived in full force, everything would boil down to numbers and statistics. Ruthless calculus.

_No! Don't think about it! This same "Ruthless calculus" crap cost you __**everything**__ in the last war!_

He knew why he was sacrificing the batarians. The answer was simple – he _hated_ them. He hated that they were responsible for turning the Terminus systems into a criminal hub, he hated that they were responsible for most of the slaver gangs and drug rings in the galaxy, he hated that they were responsible for so many tragedies like Mindoir and so many battles like the Skyllian Blitz. . .

Was it so wrong that a government that encouraged its citizens to enslave others, to treat them like property be the one to face the wrath of the Reapers? Wouldn't the galaxy be better off without the batarian race as a whole? If Earth, Palaven, Thessia, Sur'Kesh and Rannoch could be saved at the expense of Khar'shan, shouldn't he take that chance?

_But is that truly __**my**__ decision to make?_

For the first time, Garrus fully appreciated the magnitude of the burden Shepard had carried in the previous timeline. It was one thing to order your troops to their deaths defending civilians from the Reapers, it was another thing entirely to decide the fate of an entire _species_; and Shepard had been forced to do this more than once, all by herself!

_Spirits, that woman. . . .  
_

He sighed again. This wasn't the first hard decision he'd have to make, and it certainly wouldn't be his last. No use driving himself crazy trying to justify everything at once.

He had always trusted Shepard's judgement. He would do so again. When the time was right he would confess everything to her, and accept whatever punishment she'd give.

But until that day came, this burden would be his to bear. Alone.

* * *

**AN: Whew, this was a rather serious chapter. Don't worry folks, the next will have quite a few laughs.  
**

**Please do post your reviews. I'd very much like to hear what my readers think about this story. Do you like the direction its heading in?  
**


	10. Chapter 10

There were days when Shepard found herself thanking the gods for Garrus Vakarian.

Then there were days when she simply hated him.

Today was, unfortunately, one of the latter.

She stormed towards the elevator, giving an evil eye to any grunts unlucky enough to get in her way. She then proceeded to tap her foot impatiently and glare at the door of the incredibly slow elevator, as though she could simply intimidate it into moving faster.

She was a soldier on a mission and she would not be denied.

She was going to _kill_ that scaly turian. Hell yeah! She was going to make an example of that two-legged dinosaur! She was going to show the world precisely what the consequences of disobeying Commander-_motherfucking-_Shepard were!

For that is what that turian bastard had done. He had disobeyed her direct orders on the field, in front of another squad member no less! The sheer nerve!

Alone in the elevator and away from prying eyes, she let her '_Commander'_ face drop for a moment and pouted at the door.

She'd had it all planned out. When Garrus had approached her with the request to track down Dr Saleon, she'd agreed to it in a heartbeat. In her mind, it had been the perfect opportunity to secure his loyalty and appoint herself as his unofficial mentor. Oh yes, a _mentor_!

Commander Shepard did not have an ego, oh no she didn't! Yet, there were times when she wished she had someone to pass all of her wisdom and general awesomeness down too; and while she was aware that there were many marines out there who would kill for an opportunity to be mentored by the great Commander Shepard herself, sadly none of them seemed to cut it for her.

She had almost given up hope of ever getting to play the whole '_wise mentor_' thing that Anderson seemed to pull off so well, until she'd met Garrus Vakarian.

He was everything she had ever hoped to find in a prospective apprentice: he was a badass, he had _mad_ skills and had a great passion for justice. While there was a tiny problem of him not being human, for the most part Shepard found that she didn't really care. He was more than willing to listen to what she had to say; heck, he practically lit up with joy whenever she went down to the cargo bay to talk to him. It was plain to see that he looked up to her and was eager to learn.

Finally, she had someone willing to listen to her great wisdom, borne of so many difficult experiences. She would stand like Anderson, hands clasped behind her back, striking a pose of great knowledge and say all those badass sounding lines she'd come up with (she'd spent hours on the extranet looking them up, dammit). She was going to turn that turian into a paragon of virtue. Oh yes, she was!

She pouted some more. She'd even had an entire script prepared for their eventual encounter with the sneaky salarian doctor.

She could tell from the way Garrus spoke that he totally intended to put a bullet in his head. She'd let him continue with his delusion, and when the time came she would refuse to let him gun Saleon down. Instead, she'd tell Garrus to take him into custody and hand him over to the military police, using the whole "_we-need-to-find-out-how-he-did-this_" excuse.

Of course, she had no desire whatsoever to hand the guy over to the military. Heck, they'd probably laugh at her for doing something as mundane as _arresting_ criminals! She was a _Spectre,_ for crying out loud!

Here came the truly ingenious part! If Saleon was half the bastard Garrus made him out to be, he'd use this moment to pull a gun on them. Then Shepard would gun him down, and Garrus being his usual sarcastic self, would say something like, "So he dies anyway? What was the point of all that?"

Then Shepard, in all her glory, would proceed to give him _this_ nugget of wisdom: "_You can't predict how people will react, Garrus. But you __**can**__ control how you'll respond. In the end, that's what really matters."_

Ha! He'd floored by that! Anyone would (she'd spent the whole night thinking it up, after all). She could practically see him staring at her in awe and admiration, Ashley behind her mirroring his expression (that was the whole reason she'd brought Ashley along after all; woman practically worshipped the ground she walked on).

It was supposed to be perfect! But of course, he just _had _to go and ruin it, didn't he?

"_We'll take him in. Drop him off with the military."_

"_Look out," Garrus bellowed, pointing at the ceiling. "It's a giant geth hopper!"_

_Shepard lifted her weapon to immediately cover the ceiling, belatedly realizing that there were no such things as giant geth hoppers._

_A single shot rang out, and Saleon's brains were splattered all over the floor._

"_Dammit, Vakarian!" Ashley snapped. "We were supposed to take him into custody!"_

"_I saw him reaching for his weapon and acted on instinct," Garrus turned to regard a seething Shepard with an innocent expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Commander." He didn't sound sorry at all! If anything, the bastard seemed oddly pleased with himself._

"_Back to the ship!" she barked as she stormed past the smug-looking turian. Oh, he may not be feeling very sorry now, but he was going to be._

_Right before she disembowelled him._

* * *

Putting her '_Commander'_ face back on, she stormed into the cargo bay, fully intending to make an example out of the offending turian.

"Vakarian! Front and center!"

Garrus immediately stopped his tinkering with the Mako and assumed the turian-version of attention.

"What the hell was that supposed to be, Garrus?" Shepard demanded.

Garrus merely looked at her innocently. "What_ exactly_ are you referring to, Commander?"

"Don't play dumb with me!" She felt her blood pressure shoot up further. "Why the hell did you disobey a direct order, marine?"

"He was about to pull a gun on you," he lied smoothly. "I acted on instinct."

"_Instinct, _huh? And what about that '_giant geth hopper_' crap? Was that your _instinct_ as well?"

"False alarm, Commander," he said calmly. "Besides, that salarian was never going to come quietly. I don't see what the problem is."

_The __**problem**__, you scaly bastard, is that you ruined my dramatic moment. . .  
_

"Not the point!" she snapped at him. "When I say we take someone into custody, _we take them into custody_. That's my policy!"

"Yeah? Well, when I see despicable salarian doctors who sell organs illegally to krogan who are already suffering from the horrors of the genophage, I _shoot_ the bastards, that's _my _policy." His voice steadily grew louder at the end.

She gaped at him. _Since when did a turian become so sympathetic to the krogan's plight? And why's he shouting like that?_

"What's that about the genophage?"

_Oh, you son-of-a-bitch. . .  
_

"Wrex," he nodded at the krogan approaching them. "On our last mission, we came across this sneaky salarian scientist who's infamous for selling black market krogan testicles, claiming they cure krogan infertility."

"What!?" Wrex bellowed. "It's bad enough the salarians inflicted the genophage upon us, now they want to exploit that for our credits! You should've shot the piece of varren shit!"

"I did," Garrus said, as Wrex nodded approvingly. "But our illustrious Commander feels that we should've _arrested_ him instead."

"What?" Wrex rounded on her. "You wanted to take that bastard _alive_! What the hell are you playing at, Shepard?"

"That's-That's not the point!" Shepard sputtered, shooting a venomous look at the smug-looking turian hiding behind the krogan. "He disobeyed my direct order! He. . . ."

"You're damn right he did!" Wrex fixed her with his beady glare. "I though you understood, Shepard. I thought _you _of all people would side with the krogan instead of those slimy salarians. Instead, I see a _turian _willing to do what's right by my people, rather than a human!"

"Wrex, it's not like that. . . ."

"We're done here, Shepard." He stomped away.

"Wrex, wait!" she hurried after him, only pausing to shoot a death-glare at the cunning turian leaning against the Mako, casually admiring his handiwork.

_Damn you, Garrus Vakarian!_

* * *

Later, an exhausted Commander Shepard made her way back to her cabin, holding an ice-pack to her head.

It had taken her the better part of an hour to calm down an irate Wrex. Eventually she'd managed to cajole him by offering to help retrieve his family's ceremonial armor. Wrex however, had insisted that they seal the deal the krogan way.

_Damn krogan and their armored heads. Why do they have to head-butt each other to get their point across!?_

She poked gingerly at the red bruise on her forehead. This was all Vakarian's fault!

She swore under her breath. Next time she ran across any sentient mind-controlling plants or giant singing insects, she was going to _feed_ Garrus to them. _Let's see how smart he is when his scaly ass is being served up for lunch. . .  
_

Or maybe, she could convince Wrex to eat him after running that small errand.

Nah, wouldn't help crew morale to find out their Commander was considering feeding them to krogan as punishment for insubordination.

_On the other hand, it might help reinforce my reputation as a badass._

Hmmm, something to consider later.

If she had to be totally honest with herself however, Garrus' insubordination didn't really bother her as much as it ought to. It was probably because she knew that he hadn't done what he did because he disrespected her or anything. It was just Garrus being. . . well, Garrus.

She also couldn't help feeling a certain perverse sense of pride at his defiance. Shepard had always disliked mindlessly obedient subordinates, who were so blinded by hero-worship that they could rationalize any order she gave using the whole "_She-knows-what-she's-doing_" shtick. Unquestioning loyalty was rarely worth the trouble it caused, and Shepard honestly didn't have any use for people who couldn't think for themselves.

Besides, Garrus' rebellious attitude brought back fond memories of her own youth.

"_First Lieutenant Shepard! Front and Centre!"_

_She snapped to attention, struggling to fight back tears._

_This was it. After all that hard work, she was going to get kicked out of the ICT program at N6; and all because she couldn't follow her instructions for the mission to the letter. _

_How was **she** supposed to know that damn batarian guard was sleeping with two of his eyes open? They had four bloody eyes dammit! How was she supposed to know that particular guard had mastered the art of sleeping with half his eyes open, literally!?_

_It wasn't fair, dammit! She'd gone through hell to get all the way here; and now she was going to get kicked out because of some freaky, incompetent batarian with an expertise in napping on the job!_

"_Tell me, lieutenant, what part of 'complete the mission without alerting any of the guards' did you not understand? Were you dreaming during the goddamn briefing, marine!?"_

_Shepard steeled herself. She'd practiced this several times. All she had to do now was present her case convincingly._

"_The mission could never have been completed within the set parameters, Commander. Even if we'd eliminated the target without attracting any attention, we'd still have to fight our way through half the complex to get to the evac point."_

"_So you decided to draw everyone's attention by stuffing a grenade up your target's ass!? Holy shit, marine, you've got one fucked up sense of tactics!"_

"_It did the job, Sir," she said a little defensively._

_Commander Hartman zoomed in on her like a heat-seeking missile. "Then explain to me, how in the name of Jesus H Christ did you end up killing __**all**__ the goddamn squints in the base!?"_

'_God, I think my eardrums just exploded'. "Sir, there was a guard. . . ." she said hesitatingly._

"_That was a rhetorical question you dumbass! I've read your mission report!" he howled._

"_With all due respect Sir, I still stand by what I did. Intel fucked up big time on this one. I did the best with what I had." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them._

_The silence that followed was deafening. The rest of her squad held their breaths as one as Hartman stepped closer to Shepard until he was practically nose-to-nose with her._

'_Oh god, oh god, this is it. I'm so screwed. He's going to feed me my own intestines before he kicks me out. . .'_

"_Intel did __**not **__fuck up on this, lieutenant. We purposefully gave you false information. The whole mission was a test of your ability to improvise in the face of overwhelming odds, and out of the entirety of your team, __**you**__ were the only one to figure it out."_

_He gave her a feral grin. "I admire your honesty, Shepard. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister."_

"_Umm, I appreciate it, Sir. But I'm not into women. . ."_

"_That was a joke, you dumbass!" he bellowed. "Apparently, you're so fucking thick-headed that even obvious sarcasm bounces straight of your skull. Fortunately for you, since you're the only one of this worthless pile of shit who seems to have a single brain cell, you are hereby promoted to N7. Con-fucking-gratulations! You start your training tomorrow with the other N7s, 0800 hours sharp! Dismissed, lieutenant!"_

Ah, the good old days.

She snickered at the thought of old Hartman dealing with Garrus' insubordination. Old man would probably space him first, then ask questions later.

For some strange reason, she was finding it increasingly hard to stay angry with her turian friend.

_Friend, huh? Where did that come from?_

Shepard had always been a staunch believer in the navy's "_No Fraternization_" rule. Perhaps it was because she'd spent her whole life on ships, but she'd never really had many friends, especially of the opposite gender. Her mother's constant attempts to set her up with every single bachelor officer she ran across most certainly _did not_ help matters.

It was a mark of how much she'd come to respect and rely on Garrus Vakarian that she didn't feel the least bit awkward in calling the turian her friend. The man was an exceptional soldier, a great sounding board for ideas on strategy and tactics and had incredible leadership potential. She almost felt bad for pulling him away from C-Sec sometimes. Almost.

It helped that he was pretty easy on the eyes, for a turian anyway. That height, those broad muscled shoulders, that incredibly sexy voice that sent shivers up her. . .

_Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold that line of thought right there!_

What the hell was wrong with her? How in the hell did she go into _that_ territory all of a sudden? He was her subordinate for God's sake! And they weren't even the same species!

_Still, gotta admit, that voice. . .  
_

She found herself grinning stupidly at the thought.

_No, no, no. . . get a hold of yourself, girl._

She swore loudly and slammed her head down on the desk, momentarily forgetting about her bruise.

_Damn it! Where's that fucking icepack?_

* * *

**AN: Hehe. The last couple of chapters were rather serious, so I decided to post a more light-hearted one. Hope you guys like it.  
**

**As you can see, Shepard's finally starting to realize her feelings for our favorite turian. But is she going to act on them? Stay tuned to find out.  
**

**BTW, one of the reviewers pointed out that I should probably think about giving my Shepard a first name. I was going to go with the generic "Jane". but I already plan on using that name in my long-term project "Friends and Enemies".  
**

**Since I don't have any good ones on hand, I'd like to ask my readers for help on this one.**

**Please leave your ideas for first names in the reviews section. I'll shortlist any five names to my liking and you guys can vote for whichever name you like. Winner gets to see my Shepard named after their choice, not just for this story, but for the next two sequels as well :)**

**Oh, and Commander Hartman is a shout-out to one of my favorite movies of all time: Full-Metal Jacket. **


	11. Chapter 11

"This is nothing! You humans have done far worse to the batarians!"

_Spirits, was Balak always this annoying?_

Garrus sighed as he set to work defusing the demolition charges. Even after all the time he'd spent on Omega he'd never understand bad guys and their fixation on evil monologues. It's like they had an obsessive need to explain their plans to the first person they ran across or something.

He remembered this one krogan battlemaster who he'd gone up against back in the previous timeline. The bastard had barricaded himself in one of the apartments in the housing district and positioned its occupants near the windows to shield against possible sniper fire.

A sound strategy; except that as soon as one of the hostages had said the magic words - _"Why are you doing this?"_ – he'd popped out of his cover and launched into a tirade about the injustice in the galaxy, being cheated out of credits, revenge. . . the usual crap. Plenty of time for Garrus to put a hole in his head with an armor-piercing round.

He smiled in satisfaction as he moved to the final bomb. It had taken some convincing for Shepard to let him go off on his own to where the charges were; but in the end he'd simply pointed out that it was practically standard operating procedure for terrorists to take hostages, and that they'd all be better off if Shepard and the rest drew Balak's attention while he neutralized any possible backup plans the wily batarian might have.

As Garrus worked on the final bomb, he thanked the Spirits for the thousandth time that he'd retained his memories from the previous timeline. In the time he'd spent as Archangel, he'd run more than a dozen operations this way. Once the criminal populace of Omega had realized that Archangel didn't endanger innocent bystanders needlessly, they'd scrambled to pull the whole "we've-got-hostages" shtick on him and his team. Garrus had pulled off these kind of rescues so many times he could practically do it in his sleep. Handcuffing hostages to bombs, dangling them over buildings, hanging them upside down over barrels of vorcha piss. . . Garrus Vakarian had seen it _all_.

He sighed in satisfaction as the final explosive was disarmed. Thank the Spirits Balak didn't have much of an imagination!

He keyed in his comm once again to find that the batarian leader was still having his temper tantrum. No doubt Shepard had a great gift for keeping people talking, especially when they were egotistical bad guys.

"Commander," he hurried back to take his vantage position over the group. "All the charges have been disarmed. Hostages secure. You're good to go."

He saw Shepard turn back to Wrex and Williams standing behind her, flashing them a standard Alliance hand-signal. Balak, being the talkative bastard he was, seemed to not to notice.

"It was you. You and your kind are the only reason we're. . . ."

"**Gaaaaah!** Shut up, you annoying pyjack!" Wrex roared as he fired a charged shot right into the batarian's face.

_Note to self, do __**not**__ piss of Wrex. _Garrus picked off a few of the varren, watching in awe as Wrex proceeded to make mincemeat out of Balak, screaming obscenities at him and his entire species.

As the last batarian fell to Shepard's bullets, Garrus climbed down to join the rest of the team.

"Great job, Garrus!" Shepard happily clapped him on the shoulder. "You were right on the money about the hostages."

"Yeah," Williams said, surprising him with the honest admiration in his voice. "The scumbag would probably have gotten away if you hadn't thought about scouting out ahead. Way to go, Vakarian!"

"Just doing my job. I've faced plenty of people like that batarian during my C-Sec days. Not on the same scale, of course. . . but the principle's the same." Garrus was never so glad that turians couldn't blush than at that moment.

Shepard merely shook her head, smiling. "Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without you, Garrus." It was low enough that Williams didn't hear, but he did. His heart gave a small jump at the implications of that seemingly innocent statement.

_Hah! Damn, I still got the moves!_

A loud crunching noise broke him out of his pleasant thoughts. The three of them turned around to look pointedly away from the source of the sickening sound.

"Hey, Wrex!" Shepard called out, determinedly not looking back.

"What?"

"Any chance you could leave behind enough of his body for forensics?"

"I'll try."

* * *

When Shepard gave the order to set course for Virmire, Garrus felt his gut clench in fear.

This was going to be one of the most difficult missions they'd ever undertaken. The stakes were too high and they were going in practically blind.

But Garrus was nervous for an entirely different reason. Virmire was where he planned to cause what could be the biggest possible change in this timeline.

He was going to save _everyone_.

Williams, Wrex, Alenko, Kirrahe and his team. . . . hell, even that salarian lieutenant that they'd found in the labs. He was going to save them all!

He took a deep breath. He'd been planning for this mission for months, since the moment he'd first set foot on the Normandy. Virmire had been the turning point in the previous timeline, and he knew that the bigger the changes he caused here, the greater its effects would be in the future.

Yet he couldn't help but feel a niggling doubt in his mind. _Should _he do it?

He glanced at the device in his hands. It was a small piece of circuitry that he'd been working on in his spare time, aided by an oblivious Tali. It had taken all of his engineering skills (past and present) and help from an unsuspecting quarian, to create this device. This tiny device, the key to changing the future of the galaxy, sitting innocently in the palm of his hand.

_Should I do it?_

In the past few months, Garrus had set into motion many plans that would cause significant changes this time around. Perhaps it was the burden of carrying the knowledge of the whole '_what-could have-been_' in his mind, but he honestly couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed sometimes.

What right did he have to play the role of the Spirits in this world? Working behind the shadows, deciding who lives and dies, manipulating people, moving them like pawns on a board. . . what right did _he_ have to do all this? For all he knew things had happened the way they did because they were meant to be. Maybe it was all truly inevitable, like Harbinger had said.

He shook his head violently. _No, I never believed in Fate before and I'm sure as hell not going to start now! _And as for why _he_ was doing this, the answer was pretty simple.

Because he had to. Because if _he_ didn't do it, scumbags like the Shadow Broker and the Illusive Man would. Because if he didn't do it, the burden would go on to fall on Shepard's shoulders once again.

And he'd be damned if he let her shoulder the fate of the galaxy by herself a second time.

_I won't let you carry this burden alone, Shepard. Not again._

He glanced at Ashley Williams standing at her station, cleaning her guns and humming an old song. His comrade-in-arms, his _friend_. . . completely unaware of her impending doom.

The sight stiffened his resolve, banishing the last traces of doubt from his mind.

_Not this time. __**Nobody **__dies today. _

* * *

The fight to the Salarian camp was intense but manageable; and in what seemed like no time at all, they were all standing in front of Captain Kirrahe and his team, listening to one of the most insane combat plans ever conceived.

As Shepard moved off to calm down an irate Wrex, Garrus saw a tense Ashley Williams slowly draw her assault rifle.

"I know what you're thinking, Williams," he spoke softly from behind her, making her jump in surprise. "Don't do it."

Ashley grimaced in discomfort. "You think I _want_ to do this, Vakarian? Hell, I like Wrex as much as anyone else, but the Commander's safety is my top priority. If it honestly comes down to a showdown between them. . . ."

"I'm just as worried about the Commander as you are, Williams. But we both know Wrex isn't going to attack her. He's too fond of her as it is."

"You really think so?" Ashley turned around to look at him in the eye. "This isn't about him, this is about his people. You _know_ how he is about the whole genophage thing. What if he doesn't understand why this base needs to be blown up?"

"Wrex isn't a fool," Garrus said firmly. "He knows _exactly_ why we need to blow this place up. He just needs someone to help validate his decision. That's why Shepard went to speak to him alone: because she _knows_ that he trusts her judgement more than anyone else's, more than Kirrahe's and probably more than his own as well."

"If nothing else, consider this: Shepard _trusts_ Wrex; and if we trust _her_ then that should be enough for us."

Ashley said nothing, but she holstered her rifle all the same. In the distance, they watched as Shepard put a hand on Wrex's shoulder, speaking to him in that calm, level-headed way of hers. Slowly, the old krogan's shoulders dropped as the fight seemed to go out of him. Then he imperceptibly straightened and said something to her. She barked out a short laugh and nodded, and they both walked back to the others.

"Impressive," said Kirrahe, from beside them. "Never thought I'd see the day a krogan would listen to reason."

"That's Commander Shepard for ya," Ashley chuckled, the tension going out of her as she visibly relaxed.

"Indeed," Kirrahe muttered, looking rather impressed in spite of himself. "It seems with _her_ around, things are about to get rather interesting."

Garrus grinned. _Oh Kirrahe my friend, you have __**no**__ idea._

* * *

After leaving Ashley behind with the salarian team, Shepard and the others fought their way across Saren's base, taking a few diversions here and there to take some of the heat off the other team.

They managed to rescue Lieutenant Ganto Imness, the only STG member to have escaped indoctrination experiments at the hands of Saren's twisted scientists. After quickly dispatching the krogan scientist Dr Droyas and his asari assistant, they made their way to another lab where they ran into another asari hiding beneath the desk.

Garrus felt his blood run cold. _Rana Thanoptis!_

Spirits, how in the hell did he forget about _her_ of all people? Saren's assistant, the person responsible for all these sick experiments. . . and herself an unsuspecting victim of indoctrination.

He remembered how much chaos she had caused in the previous timeline. According to intelligence reports, she had murdered several top ranking asari officials, and later committed suicide herself. The worst part of it all was that quite a few of those officials had reportedly been sympathetic to Shepard's efforts to unite the galaxy's fleets.

_Probably why they were targeted in the first place._

But what to do? On one hand, killing her meant that Okeer might have problems creating Grunt in the future; on the other hand, letting her live meant she'd have two whole years to continue working for the Reapers doing Spirits-knew-what in the galaxy.

He watched as Thanoptis hurried over to a console, unlocking Saren's private lab. She turned to Shepard, begging for her life; he watched Shepard scrunch up her face in concentration, weighing the pros and cons of sparing the researcher.

Fortunately, Wrex decide to solve the problem for her the same he solved _all_ his problems.

With a buckshot to the face.

"Wrex!" Shepard bellowed, as the asari's headless corpse slumped to the ground. "What the _hell_ was that!?"

"She was working for Saren. She was responsible for that disgusting research on my people, she deserved to die." Wrex looked unrepentant.

"He's right, Commander," Liara surprised everyone by speaking up. "She _was_ responsible for all those sickening experiments on those STG members. She admitted it herself."

"Not the point, Liara," Shepard growled.

"For all we knew Shepard, she might've been indoctrinated herself," Tali offered reasonably.

Shepard exhaled slowly. "Good point, Tali. And Wrex, warn me the next time you decide to pull something like that, okay?"

Wrex merely grinned. "Better hurry, Shepard. You promised me Saren's head, remember? My trigger finger's getting itchy."

"I noticed," she said dryly. "Move out people!"

Garrus followed the group silently, too stunned to make any smart-ass comments for once.

_Maybe I should try the lottery sometime; with this kind of luck. . .  
_

* * *

The confrontation with Sovereign had been. . . unnerving, to say the least.

From Liara's terrified expression, Tali's incessant wringing of her hands and Wrex's grim countenance, Garrus could tell he wasn't the only one feeling this way.

After all, it wasn't every day that you found out about the existence of an entire race of ancient megalomaniac machines hell bent on destroying all organic life just for the heck of it.

Still, it wasn't the prospect of hearing Sovereign's grim prophecy that had scared him. It was the chance that maybe, _just maybe_, Sovereign would recognize that he wasn't from this timeline.

Garrus was still not sure how _exactly_ he'd managed to come back in time. He'd done his research of course, looked up every possible reference from every single culture. But in the end, he'd found nothing concrete. Nothing to explain how he'd managed to travel across space and time itself.

The only thing he could state with any certainty was that a huge amount of energy had been involved in sending him back across space-time; and in _his_ experience, there was only one thing out there that had the kind of power to pull that off: The Reapers.

It was the only logical explanation he had: the Reapers, or something connected to the Reapers were responsible for sending him back. But how or why? He had no idea.

That's why he had observed Sovereign carefully during its conversation with Shepard. Its speech pattern, the general text of the conversation. . . they had all been the same. If Sovereign had noticed anything odd about him, it hadn't commented on it.

_Not that I'm being ungrateful or anything._

He sighed internally as he watched the improvised nuclear device being brought out from the Normandy. As it was placed near one of the base's geothermal taps, they received a message form Ashley stating that they were pinned down near the second AA tower. He watched Alenko tell the Commander to go ahead, claiming they needed some time to set up the bomb anyway.

_This is it._

He took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Commander, just a moment."

* * *

**AN: Haha, a cliffhanger :P  
**

**One of my reviewers had pointed out something I need to explain, namely that if Garrus is causing all these changes, will Shepard be affected as well?**

**The answer is : Yes, yes she will. In fact, that's the whole point of the story. The Shepard in the previous timeline had been a paragon in ME1, who steadily became more and more of a Renegade in ME2 and finally transformed into the ultimate Renegade in ME3. While Garrus may be content to blame it all on the indoctrination, its got more to do with the sheer amount of pressure she's under.  
**

**I'm going to go on the record here: I hate Mary Sue/Marty Sue characters. It ruins whatever small amount of realism you've got in the story when your protagonist is just so. . . perfect. Heck, don't get me wrong, I _love_ strong characters; I don't like that thing most people do where they turn Shepard into an emo under the pretext of making her more realistic. But someone like Shepard as she's depicted in the games is just _too_ improbable.  
**

**That's why my story has Garrus doing his best to take some of the pressure off Shepard. Don't worry, Shepard is still her wonderful badass self, she just won't have to handle everything on her own.**

**For those of you thinking that Garrus is becoming something of a Marty Sue on his own, don't worry. As the whole incident with Thanoptis just proved, nobody's perfect. Just because everything's been working out so far for our favorite turian, it doesn't mean it always will. There'll be a whole new set of challenges to face in the sequels.  
**

**So, what d'you guys think? Reviews people!**


	12. Chapter 12

"Commander, just a moment."

Shepard and Alenko both turned around to regard the turian sniper curiously.

_Well, here goes nothing. . .  
_

"Commander, I should probably stay here to help the lieutenant arm the nuke."

"There's no need. I'm perfectly capable of arming the nuke by myself, Commander." There was the slightest hint of defensiveness in Alenko's voice.

"I don't doubt your skills in the least, lieutenant," Garrus said bracingly. "It's just that if the geth decide to swarm this location, you'll have a hard time fighting them off _and_ arming the bomb by yourself." He made eye-contact with Shepard. "We all heard Joker say that Sovereign had started moving away from the planet after our conversation. No doubt Saren's already aware of our plans by now. Let me stay here and help the lieutenant keep the bomb safe until we're ready to move out."

Garrus waited with bated breath as Shepard furrowed her brow, deep in thought. Then to his immense relief, she nodded. "Good plan. Garrus, Alenko, I'll leave it up to the both of you to make sure this damn thing goes off."

"We won't let you down, Commander," Alenko snapped off a smart salute as Shepard and the rest of the team moved out to assist Ashley.

Garrus sighed internally as the biotic moved off to start tinkering with the bomb controls. He made a small sweep of their surroundings to ensure there were no geth trying to sneak up on them.

"Hey Garrus!" Alenko called out.

"Yeah?"

"I'm done configuring the detonator. You wanna double-check my work?"

"You _want_ me to?" Garrus asked in surprise.

"Well, yeah. . . you're much better at tech than I am," he said with a small chuckle.

"Oh. Fine, then."

He moved towards the device and quickly ran through the algorithms on the electronic detonator. Satisfied that everything was in working order, he quickly pulled out a small circuit board from his armor and started attaching it to the control panel.

"What's that?" the biotic asked curiously.

_My trump card._

"It's something Tali and I came up with," Garrus explained. "Remember that time on Rayingiri, when we had to fight all those geth inside that cramped base?"

"Yeah. . . ."

"If our enemies had been pirates or mercenaries, we could've simply pulled back and locked the doors behind us, using the time they take to hack through it to regroup. Naturally, that tactic doesn't work with the geth."

"Because they're AIs. Hacking a door is pretty easy for them," Alenko nodded thoughtfully.

"That's how Tali and I came up with the idea to make this. It's a virus which basically interferes with the run-times of any VI or AI trying to hack into the systems it's protecting."

"I figured if at any point we were forced to fall back from this area and leave the bomb to the geth, this little baby can help buy us time. It won't hold up against the processing power of the geth forever, but if we thin the herd enough. . . ."

". . . we can simply arm the device and get the hell out of here, and the geth won't be able to disarm it in time," Alenko finally caught on. "Nice thinking, Garrus."

"Thank you."

They remained silent for a few moments. "You know you're really something else, Garrus."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. When you first joined the team I had my doubts about you, pretty much like everyone else on the ship. But you've more than earned your spot on the team. Heck, you're one of the best engineers I've ever met (except maybe for Tali) and your combat skills are probably on par with Shepard herself."

"But the one thing I really admire about you is your sense of strategy. Like this instance here," he nodded to the bomb. "You always seem to have a plan for everything."

"Well. . ." Garrus was honestly taken aback by the sincerity in the young biotic's voice. "Thank you, lieutenant."

"Call me Kaidan," he shot the turian a friendly grin. "I know we haven't had much of a chance to talk since the mission began, but I'm hoping we can change that."

"Yeah, sure. . . Kaidan."

The young officer smiled brightly at Garrus and for a moment, he couldn't help but think about the Kaidan Alenko he'd known from the previous timeline; the human who had been one of his closest friends on the Normandy SR1, apart from Shepard herself. As they both stood there keeping a lookout for potential enemies whatever animosity that might've been there disappeared, leaving behind the same camaraderie the two young soldiers had shared in the previous timeline.

"Hey, Garrus?"

"Yeah?"

"You wouldn't happen to know who put itching powder in my sleeping pod that time, would you?"

Garrus froze.

This was it. This was his chance to finally come clean. If he confessed and apologized now, Kaidan would definitely laugh it off as a joke. There was no need to hold onto those petty grudges from the past anymore. He was _better_ than this. His father had taught him better than this. He was a good turian. He. . .

"It was Wrex."

Nope, turns out he wasn't such a good turian after all.

Kaidan stared at him in surprise. "_Wrex_ did that?! But. . . but, _why_?"

Garrus shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure if it's my place to say."

"Its fine, Garrus. You can tell me." Kaidan actually seemed rather nervous.

"It's. . . well, it's because of Shepard, really."

"What's the Commander got to do with this?"

"Well, rumor on the ship is that you've been flirting with her quite a bit."

"That's. . . that's just ridiculous," Kaidan sputtered. "We just talk a little bit, that's all! She's my CO, for god's sake! And what does _Wrex_ have to do with all this anyways?"

"Well," Garrus drawled. "You know how Wrex keeps talking about how Shepard is so much like a krogan sometimes?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Sooo. . ." He looked at the biotic meaningfully.

"You're kidding me!" Kaidan looked revolted. "You're telling me that Wrex has a. . . a _thing_ for the Commander?!"

"Yup."

"But. . . but he's a _krogan_! And she's _human_! What the hell. . . ?"

"Well, you know what they say", Garrus said. "Krogan aren't exactly the brightest species out there."

_Sorry, Wrex._

"Besides, Shepard's female. To someone like Wrex, I'm pretty sure that's all that really matters."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, the young lieutenant visibly struggling to digest this revolting new piece of information. Finally, he let out a deep breath.

"Wow. . . just wow. I never. . . I mean. . . Wrex?"

"I mean, I knew that he was a lot closer to her than to anyone else on the team. I thought it was because he respected her as a warrior, you know. I never thought. . . ."

"I understand," Garrus nodded sympathetically.

"He always made fun of me during missions," Kaidan looked thoughtful. "Always calling me 'whelp'. I thought it was because he considered me a kid you know. . . I never." He sighed. "Do you think it was because he was jealous of me or something?"

Garrus merely shrugged. Personally, he found it hard to believe _anyone_ would be jealous of the human. How could they, with that stupid hair?

He enjoyed the sight of the lieutenant's discomfort for a few more moments. Then he went in for the kill.

"Personally, I think he's wasting his time."

"Oh yeah?" Kaidan's head snapped up. "Why's that?"

"Well," Garrus said slowly. "Rumor _also_ has it that the Commander has been spending a lot of time with a certain archaeologist."

The lieutenant blinked in surprise. "The Commander and. . . _Liara_?" He paused for a few moments and then chuckled ruefully. "Can't say I'm all that surprised though."

"Yeah. . . well. Me neither."

"Well, I'm happy for them." He didn't _sound_ very happy though. "Liara's a great person to be around."

Garrus couldn't help but feel a small pang of sympathy for the dejected looking human before him. He decided to do something about it.

"Speaking of which, Kaidan, what do you think about Chief Williams?"

"Ashley?" He seemed to perk up slightly at the mention of her name. "What about her?"

"Well, I've noticed that you two spend a lot of time together." Garrus glanced at him meaningfully.

"What? Ash and _me_? No, it's nothing like that."

Garrus' mandibles twitched in the turian equivalent of a smirk. "So, it's 'Ash' now, is it?"

"What?" Kaidan seemed to go red with embarrassment. "No. . . no we're not. . . ."

"Well, that's a shame, really" the turian shook his head in mock sympathy. "I've heard she's got quite a crush on you."

"Really?" the biotic asked disbelievingly.

"I hear all kinds of things working on the Mako, Kaidan," Garrus smirked confidently. "I've heard her discussing you with her sisters quite a lot."

"Yeah? What did she say?" He sounded hopeful.

"Well. . . let's just say a lot of complimentary words were used and leave it at that."

The lieutenant laughed at little at that. "Hmm. . . I don't know, Garrus. Even if I wanted to, there are still Alliance regulations to consider."

"Ah yes, '_regulations_'," he used his talons to make air-quotes. "'Legal norms intended to shape conduct that is a by-product of imperfection.' We should _dismiss_ those claims."

Kaidan looked at him blankly. "What I'm trying to say is that all this time we've been doing the impossible by pretty much ignoring all the rules. Now that we're all headed towards what is probably the most difficult battle we've ever fought in, do you really want to have any kinds of regrets should the worst come to pass?"

The biotic considered this for a few moments. "Well. . . I suppose relationships aren't that uncommon in the Alliance. As long as one of us takes a transfer to a different ship, there really shouldn't be any problems. Besides, the Commander's not really one to make a fuss about fraternization of all things. . ."

_Yeah, right. Like you really bothered to think about all of that when you were trying to get into Shepard's pants, you lousy bastard!_

"For what it's worth Kaidan, I really think you should give it a shot," Garrus said conversationally, determined to not let some of his darker thoughts show.

The biotic grinned at him. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll talk to Ash after we get back. Thanks, Garrus."

"Don't mention it." He spotted some movement at the edge of his scope. "Hostiles incoming!"

"I see it!" Kaidan cried, charging up a biotic throw.

Garrus Vakarian lined up his scope at the nearest Geth Rocket trooper, a most evil and victorious smirk on his face.

_Scoped and dropped!_

* * *

Commander Shepard gritted her teeth as another shock trooper dropped before her.

Her body was still aching from the fight with Saren a scant few minutes ago and after having spent the last few hours fighting waves upon waves of geth and krogan, she was almost on the verge of collapsing.

Her team wasn't doing any better either. Wrex was still recovering from his skirmish with that krogan warlord, Liara looked practically dead on her feet, Tali's left leg was broken though she was still running her fingers over her omni-tool with frightening efficiency. As for the rest: Kirrahe, Rentola and Ashley were the only ones from the distraction team capable of holding a weapon right now.

But they had no other choice. They simply _had_ to hold the freaking line!

After Saren had escaped aboard his hover-platform, practically endless waves of geth had begun to assault their position near the AA tower. While the fuel tanks lining the area had helped them quell the first two dozen geth, the team had quickly found themselves fighting for their very lives. The sheer number of geth units attacking their position rendered most of their usual tactics useless; and with most of the team still recuperating from their previous injuries, the battle was growing increasingly desperate.

_C'mon Garrus! What the hell is taking you guys so long?_

The last transmission she'd received from the bomb site had Kaidan yelling that their position had been overrun and that they were pulling back to the LZ after activating the bomb. He'd said something about a fail-safe installed on the IED to prevent the geth from tampering with it before their communications had been cut-off.

Shepard cursed as she watched Rentola go down. This was slowly going into FUBAR territory. Heck, she hadn't been in such a desperate battle since the Skyllian Blitz.

_C'mon guys! Any day now!_

"Commander!" Ashley screamed.

Shepard swivelled around to where she was pointing her sniper rifle, and what she saw made her heart jump.

Garrus was making his way over to their position, running faster than she'd ever seen, carrying an injured Alenko over his shoulder. The biotic was wildly firing his pistol at the geth pursuing them, throwing out an occasional biotic pulse.

"Shepard! Two minutes to detonation!" Tali cried.

"Joker! You heard the girl!" Shepard said.

"_Aye aye, Commander! We're ready to move!_"

"All right everyone! Move out!" she ordered.

The entire team started tossing their grenades en masse at the geth as Garrus finally ran up to the hatch of the waiting Normandy. He dropped Kaidan to the floor unceremoniously and turned around to help Shepard provide covering fire as the hatch began to close.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" Shepard bellowed.

"Everyone hold on! This is gonna be a wild ride!" Joker's voice came over the comm.

The ship lurched as it shot into the air, throwing the occupants of the cargo bay into complete disarray. Everyone scrambled to grab hold of something as the ship picked up speed, hurtling into the atmosphere to escape the blast radius of the nuke. Shepard glanced at her omni-tool worriedly.

_Just a few more seconds. . . .  
_

As the Normandy SR1 entered Virmire's orbit and kicked into FTL the bomb exploded, the light from its blast marking a bright spot on the tropical planet's surface.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the long wait, folks. I've had a lot of things to deal with the last few weeks.  
**

**BTW, the poll for my femShep's first name is officially open. Please do make sure to vote. Remember that the most popular name will feature in the rest of the story as well as the two planned sequels.  
**

**Thanks a lot for all of your support people :)**


	13. Chapter 13

The Normandy SR1 Med Bay was more crowded than Garrus ever remembered seeing. Between treating their ground team and Kirrahe's men, the entire place was in complete chaos. Red, green and (in Garrus' case) blue blood was splattered all over the place, soaking into the sterile floor.

Garrus silently marvelled at Dr Chakwas' skills for the hundredth time. No matter how many times he'd seen it before, watching one of the skilled doctors he'd ever known going to work on four badly injured patients near simultaneously never failed to inspire him. That woman was a genius and more than deserved her title of the best Medical Officer in the Alliance.

"Hey, Garrus!"

Garrus started slightly at Ashley William's use of his given name.

"Good job out there," she fidgeted slightly under his surprised gaze, "and. . . thanks, y'know, for everything."

He noted that her eyes were fixed at a point slightly beside his right shoulder. He followed her gaze towards Kaidan who was stretched out on one of the beds, his damaged right leg slathered in medi-gel.

He suddenly understood the reason behind the slight moisture in her eyes.

_Damn. Looks like she really **is** fond of him. . .  
_

He turned back to the human marine. "Don't mention it. . . Ashley." It was a strange feeling, calling her by her given name like that; something he'd never had the pleasure of doing back in the previous timeline.

Ashley shot him a wide smile before turning around to help Liara limp out of the med bay.

Garrus watched her leave with a strange sense of satisfaction blooming in his chest. Spirits, she was alive! Ashley Williams had survived Virmire! Against all odds, after everything that'd come to pass. . . he had managed to save her. All because of a single circuit board he and Tali had managed to cobble together in their spare time.

And it wasn't just her, he realized as he looked around the med bay. Wrex, Kaidan, Kirrahe, the salarian team. . . they had _all_ survived. Even after facing the worst that Saren and his geth could throw at them back on that Spirits-forsaken world, they'd managed to pull off their mission with minimal losses.

Garrus couldn't help but smirk slightly at the decisive victory they'd scored against the Reapers that day.

_Hah! Take that, Sovereign!_

He gingerly got to his feet and made his way towards the elevator. Damn, he was going to get so drunk the next time they'd hit the Citadel. . .

"Garrus! Where the hell do you think you're going!?"

He blinked slightly at the approaching figure of a blood-stained, pissed-off looking Commander Shepard.

_Wow, she looks so hot when she's so angry. . . _He shook his head minutely. _Focus now Vakarian, fantasize later._

"Something the matter, Commander?"

"_Something the matter?_" she repeated, looking at the turian incredulously. "What the heck did you hit your head on, marine? You just came back from the worst firefights we've ever been in, and you're running off without getting any medical attention!?"

"I assure you, Commander, I'm perfectly fine," he said smoothly.

Shepard simply arched an eyebrow. "Perfectly fine, huh? What d'you call that then?" She pointed at the floor.

Garrus blinked in surprise at the small pool of blue blood at his feet. _When the heck did that happen?_

He looked at his superior sheepishly. "Would you believe me if I said blue syrup?"

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him, seemingly unimpressed by his sense of humor. "Turn around," she ordered.

Garrus obliged. He felt her poke at his hard suit for a bit before taking in a sharp breath. "Damn it, Garrus! Your armor has more holes in it than a vorcha's ass!"

He scratched his mandible thoughtfully. "What is that supposed to mean? And how would you even know. . .?"

"It means, you over-gown dinosaur," she grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around to face her, "that your armor is barely holding itself together. You're lucky this damn thing is a Colossus IX, or we'd be ferrying your corpse back to the Citadel." She raked her hands through her hair in frustration. "How in the hell did you manage to run all the way to the LZ from the bomb site with those damned geth firing at your back without getting yourself killed is beyond me."

"I'm simply that awesome," Garrus said smugly. "And I'll have you know Commander, that I resent your '_dinosaur_' remark! Turians are closer to avians than lizards."

Shepard balled her hand into a fist, and for a moment he was actually worried that she'd deck him right there. "Well, you certainly proved your relation to avians today, bird-brain," she snapped. "Now get your scaly ass over to Chakwas on the double!"

"She's busy treating the salarians. . ."

"Fuck that!" she snarled. "Those salarians aren't the reason my team is alive right now, Garrus, _you_ are! If you hadn't volunteered to help Kaidan with the bomb back there we probably would've had to abandon the team at the AA Towers to secure the bomb site." She took a deep calming breath. "The only reason Ashley and Kirrahe's team are alive right now is your quick thinking Garrus, so stop acting like this is all just in a day's work for you."

Garrus' eyes widened slightly in surprise. He'd almost forgotten how perceptive Shepard could be sometimes.

"Now stop acting like an idiot and go to Chakwas. Last thing I need right now is for you to end up out-of-action because of some macho turian bullshit. " She rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "Especially since I nearly lost you today. . ."

"What was that, Commander?" Garrus asked, though his enhanced hearing had picked up her mumbling perfectly. "I didn't catch that."

"Nothing," she said quickly. The slight reddening of her cheeks and his visor readings gave her away though. "C'mon, let's get you fixed up." Shepard grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the med bay.

Garrus followed obediently, savoring every moment of the feel of her five-fingered hand in his. He was once again glad that no one on the ship was adept at reading turian facial expressions.

It would've been real hard to explain the stupid grin on his face otherwise.

* * *

Garrus Vakarian leaned across the railing, gazing into the clear waters of the Presidium Lake.

He had requested to be excused when Shepard had gone off to meet the Council. He wasn't exactly sure if he could restrain himself from putting a bullet in that slimy bastard Udina's head when he betrayed them to the willfully-blind Council.

He clicked his mandibles thoughtfully. Shepard was probably doing her best to convince those Spirits-damned Councilors to take a more practical approach to dealing with Saren right now. It was a futile effort though, because there was simply no way in hell that those fools were ever going to take the warnings of a human seriously. What did it matter that she'd practically done the impossible on Virmire and annihilated Saren's base while managing to rescue the Salarian recon team? Their ego would always be more important to them than the accomplishments of any single individual, especially if that individual was a _human_!

He scoffed slightly. He really shouldn't be surprised. It had taken Cerberus troops invading the Citadel for them to finally get off their collective asses and join the war effort.

_Too bad the war had already been lost by then._

Garrus shook his head slightly. There was no point in dwelling on the past.

Besides, he hadn't exactly been wasting his time. As soon as Shepard took off for the Council Tower, Garrus had gone over to C-Sec headquarters and tried to warn them about the upcoming Geth invasion.

It hadn't been easy. He couldn't give too many details without revealing his knowledge of the future, and the "_classified information_" card could only be played so many times. He had spoken to as many of his old colleagues as he could find however, though there was no way of saying how many of them had taken his warnings seriously.

He glanced morosely around the Presidium. In a few hours, the whole place was going to turn into a war zone. Even with everything he'd done, hundreds would die at the hands of the geth forces before Sovereign was finally defeated. The Presidium itself would be in ruins, the damage taking months to clean up even with the Keepers' tireless work.

If only there was some way to reduce the casualties, if only he could somehow. . .

"Garrus Vakarian?"

He started slightly and turned around to see a somewhat familiar asari smiling at him, though Garrus couldn't put a name to that face.

"Can I help you, Miss. . . ?"

She smiled brightly at him. "My name is Nelyna, Officer Vakarian. I am an acolyte of the Consort Sha'ira."

Garrus blinked in surprise. "Oh. . . ahem. . . it's former-officer Vakarian, I'm afraid. I left C-Sec months ago."

"Oh. My apologies," she gave a slight bow, "I am here on behalf of the Consort."

"Sure. What can I do for her?"

"The Consort has requested a meeting with you, if you have the time that is."

Garrus' mandibles flared in surprise. He was more than familiar with Sha'ira's reputation. For the Consort to request a meeting was practically unheard of. And she wanted to meet with _him_ of all people?

"What's this about?" he asked suspiciously.

Nelyna merely shrugged. "Who knows how the mind of the Consort works? At any rate, she has specifically requested a private meeting with you at your earliest convenience."

The mention of a '_private_' meeting put Garrus on edge. He narrowed his eyes slightly at the asari before him.

To her credit, Nelyna didn't look even the least bit intimidated. Instead she merely smiled. "If it makes you feel safer, you may bring your weapons with you."

Garrus blinked owlishly, feeling slightly abashed at his paranoia. He took a deep breath.

"Lead the way, Ms Nelyna."

* * *

Garrus was lead into the Consort's main chambers. He made himself comfortable on the couch and waited.

"Greetings, Garrus Vakarian." With a dramatic swish of the doors, the Consort entered the chamber. "I am glad that you came by." She walked up to him, her hips swaying seductively.

_Damn, that is one rather supportive waist. _With a massive effort, Garrus moved his eyes upwards to look at the Consort's face. "Ahem. . . yes, well. . . your acolyte said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes," Sha'ira said with a mysterious smile. "There is much I must speak with you about."

"Oh. Go on then," he said, trying his best to sound suave and confident.

"You intrigue me greatly, Garrus Vakarian." Her large, unblinking eyes were fixed firmly on his face. "I must confess, it has been a long time since I have met someone like you."

"Er. . . I should probably stop you right there." While Garrus enjoyed having his ego stroked as much as any male, asari had never really been his type. Besides, his eyes were rather firmly set on a certain human Commander. "I already have someone I. . ."

"Oh, I did not mean it like that." She gave a soft musical laugh. "My apologies for giving you the wrong impression. I was talking about your aura."

"My _what_?"

"Your aura," she repeated. "It is unique, one of a kind. For many centuries I have lived, and so many people I have known: leaders, visionaries. . . men and women who have shaped the galaxy as we know it. But your aura is something else. . . something beyond I have ever seen."

"I'm pretty sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You carry a great burden, Garrus Vakarian. You carry knowledge that may very well decide the fate of our entire galaxy. I am. . . worried that you may find yourself being overwhelmed by the responsibilities the Goddess has placed on your young shoulders." There was a hint of sadness in her voice.

Garrus' heart rate sped up. Could it be? Was she like him, from the previous timeline? It would certainly explain a great deal of things about her.

"What do you know?" he asked sharply.

"Much do I know," she said with a sigh. "There is also much that I must learn."

Garrus was fed up by all this mystical crap. He didn't have the time or patience for her dramatics. "Look, if you know what's going to happen, if you know the future you should just. . ."

"You misunderstand." she shook her head and smiled slightly. "Contrary to what most people believe, I cannot see the future. No one can. What I _can_ do is see possibilities, flashes of things to come. It is. . . difficult to describe, really."

Garrus felt his excitement wane. So she didn't really know anything after all. She was just some charlatan, making up some crap to look wise. He couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.

"If that's all," he made to get up, but she quickly grabbed his hand.

"I apologize if I have offended you," she said softly. "Will you please listen, if only for a few moments?"

Garrus was sorely tempted to brush her hand off and walk away, but he realized that insulting someone as influential as the Consort wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. He needed as many allies as he could get, after all.

He sat back down and Sha'ira flashed him a grateful smile. "Thank you."

"I shall be quick then. I know you carry a great burden on your shoulders, Garrus Vakarian, and I also know that you firmly believe that this burden is yours alone to bear. I must, however, insist that you cast aside this notion quickly." Garrus narrowed his eyes at her. "I know you are a man of exceptional strength and fortitude, but you cannot do everything by yourself. You must share your burden with someone, lest you are crushed beneath it."

"What are you. . . ?"

"The humans have a beautiful poem I am rather fond of. '_No man is an island, no man stands alone_.' Keep this in mind, Garrus Vakarian." She looked at him meaningfully. "You cannot continue to carry this knowledge by yourself, not when there is so much at stake."

"Are you asking me to share my knowledge with _you_?"

Sha'ira shook her head. "No, it is up to you whom you choose to share this knowledge with. Let the Goddess and your instincts guide you towards those you can put your faith in. I am confident, however, that whomsoever you choose will be more than worthy of your trust."

She smiled affectionately at him. "You are a great man, Garrus Vakarian. Few in this galaxy would stay sane in the wake of what you have experienced, fewer still would wish to go through it all again. But the future brings with it many dangers. As successful as you have been until now, it is unlikely that you will have such success in the future. That is why you must seek allies. Place your faith in the ones you call your _true_ friends, for they will not betray you. Remember, it is not just your life that is at stake here."

Garrus was rather embarrassed now, both by her compliment as well as the truth behind her gentle admonishment. The consort was right: he couldn't do this all by himself, he needed to share the things he knew with someone else. The stakes were much too high now. If he continued to play his cards too close to the chest, it would end up like Omega all over again, only much worse.

_Spirits, I've been an idiot all this time. . .  
_

Suddenly, a possible solution to one of his pressing problems occurred to him.

"Tell me Consort, would you be willing to give me some small assistance?"

Sha'ira beamed at him. "Of course, Garrus Vakarian. Athame be willing, I will help you as much as it is within my power to do so."

"You have a lot of contacts all over the Citadel, don't you?"

"Yes."

Garrus leaned forward eagerly. "I need you to get in touch with your contacts and organize an evacuation of the Presidium."

Sha'ira frowned slightly. "An evacuation?"

He took a deep breath. _Well, here goes nothing._

"Consort, what I am about to tell you is highly classified Council information. You are aware of Saren and his Geth armada?" She nodded. "We have reason to believe that Saren is going to attack the Citadel with an army of geth in a few hours."

Sha'ira seemed to pale slightly. "Is that why the Citadel fleets have been put on high alert?"

"Exactly," Garrus nodded. He decided he didn't want to know how she knew about the fleets being mobilized; evidently she was a lot more knowledgeable than she let on. "We are also pretty sure that Saren is going to get a large number of geth troopers to attack the Presidium."

"But that's impossible!" she argued. "Saren cannot possibly. . ."

"Look, we have reason to believe that there is a. . . back-door of sorts that will enable Saren to get past the Citadel defenses." He really didn't want to be saying all this but there was little choice in the matter. "Either way, the important thing is that the Council is absolutely refusing to believe us; that puts every single civilian on the Presidium, including your acolytes and yourself, at risk."

"Surely the Council wouldn't. . ."

"They are," Garrus insisted. "I'm sorry, I know you probably hate to hear this but the Council doesn't _care_ about the civilians on the Presidium. They've already made arrangements to be evacuated to the Destiny Ascension in case something happens."

"They would leave us to die!" Sha'ira gasped.

Garrus nodded grimly. "Yes, I'm afraid they would."

The Consort closed her eyes and took a deep breath, visibly digesting this unsettling information. Then she looked at him, eyes alight with determination. "What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to send word through your acolytes. Start pulling the civilians off the streets. Barricade yourself someplace safe, and don't come out until it's all over."

"But. . . I don't have much military training," she mumbled. "I was never an asari commando, though I know a few on the Citadel. I am not sure how to go about doing this. . ."

Garrus clicked his mandibles thoughtfully. He knew she was right, evacuating civilians from a huge area like the Presidium was not something someone without military knowledge could pull off. If only they had someone experienced with these things. . .

"Oraka," he said suddenly. "Septimus Oraka. He's still on the Citadel, isn't he?"

Sha'ira nodded. "Yes, he is still a regular patron at Chora's Den, but why. . . ?" Her eyes lit up with understanding. "Of course, he is a General!"

"Exactly," Garrus smiled. "I'm sure if _you_ asked him he wouldn't mind taking charge of the evacuation."

"I do not know," she said doubtfully. "We did not part on the best of terms. . ."

"Consort, this is not the time for such things," Garrus said firmly, doing his best Shepard impression. "_Thousands_ of lives are on the line."

"Yes, of course," she nodded decisively. "I shall speak to him personally, and inform my acolytes as well."

Garrus breathed a huge sigh of relief. _Thank the Spirits!_

"When you get in touch, make sure to tell him to start by emptying the embassies first. That place is the most strategically vulnerable point on the Presidium."

"I understand."

A beep from his omni-tool made him start in surprise. He didn't have to read the message to know that it was Shepard asking him to return to the Normandy ASAP.

It was time.

Garrus got to his feet. "I should go now. Thank you, Consort. . . for your help and your advice."

Sha'ira got to her feet with a smile. "I have something for you, Garrus Vakarian."

He glanced at the proffered trinket. "Isn't this the same Prothean. . . _thing_ you gave to Commander Shepard?"

"Oh you know about that," her smile widened. "No, it is similar, but not the same. Please, accept it with my best wishes."

Not wanting to disappoint someone who had just solved his dilemma, Garrus quietly took the strange object. "Thank you."

Sha'ira's smile widened and she stepped forward. "Before you leave, I shall offer a gift of words. An affirmation of who you are and who you will become:

She looked deeply into his eyes. "I see the sadness behind your eyes; it tells me a story that makes me want to weep. Pain and loss. . . but it drives you, makes you strong."

"That strength is what kept you alive when everybody else was dying, kept you sane when everybody else was driven to madness. You have, and will always be, a _survivor_."

"This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis of your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Garrus Vakarian."

Not knowing how to respond to all that, Garrus merely nodded.

Sha'ira smiled and reached forward, touching her forehead with his in a motherly gesture of affection. "Go with the blessings of the Goddess, Garrus Vakarian."

She watched the young turian nod and walk away, slightly surprised. Her eyes watched the exit of the young soldier who carried the fate of the galaxy on his weary shoulders.

Sha'ira sent out a silent prayer to Athame to give that young warrior the strength he would undoubtedly need to fulfill his destiny.

* * *

"Garrus, what's going on?"

"Just some last-minute diagnostic checks on the Mako, Commander? Do you need something?"

"Nah," Shepard said as she glanced around the unusually empty cargo bay. "Where _is_ everyone?"

"Ashley's in the med bay giving Kaidan company, Wrex is having a poker game with some of the other crew and Tali's in engineering doing her usual thing."

"Hmm. . . so you got the cargo bay all to yourself, huh? Nice." Shepard leaned against the Mako, casually observing him run the weapon diagnostics.

"So any reason you decided to drop by, Commander?" Garrus asked.

"Me? A reason? Can't I just be here to check on my favorite ground team member?" Shepard asked innocently.

Garrus turned around to face her and crossed his arms, mimicking her stance. "Pull the other one, Shepard. I wasn't born yesterday."

"Oh fine," she threw up her arms in surrender. "I'm hiding from Liara."

He blinked at her. "Liara? What's wrong with _her_?"

"There's nothing wrong with her. It's just. . . she wants something from me that I'm not willing to give."

It was all Garrus could do to restrain his laughter. "You mean she wants you to. . . er. . . '_Embrace Eternity_' with her?"

"Not _you_ as well," Shepard groaned. "Joker's been saying that ever since we brought her aboard. I can only pray that he hasn't gone and recorded our conversation. I'll never be able to show my face on an Alliance ship with him otherwise."

Garrus grinned. "Still it was rather cold of you to reject her like that, Commander. The poor thing's had a crush on you for quite some time, you know."

Shepard rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "Garrus, if I've told her once I've told her a dozen times: I'm _not_ into women. Period."

"Technically, asari are mono-gendered," he pointed out.

"Don't give me that crap," she scowled. "They've got boobs, they wear dresses and they like jewellery. . . that makes them female in my book."

Garrus actually laughed out loud at that. Only Shepard could say something like that with a straight face.

_Then again she's never been a typical female herself._

"So yeah," she continued, glaring at the howling turian. "I'm hiding out, on my own ship, from an asari who's looking at me like I just brutally killed her puppy or something."

"Killed her _what_? Never mind, I don't want to know."

"Besides," she mumbled. "Even if I _was_ into asari, I would never go for Liara. She's just so. . . so. . ."

"Annoying?" he prompted.

"I was gonna go for '_childish_'," she said with a glare.

"You know she's old enough to be your grandmother, don't you?"

"I'll accept that when she acts like it. The very thought of sleeping with her makes me feel like pedophile." She finished with a slight shudder.

Shaking his head he reached into a bag and pulled out a couple of bottles. "Here, this should probably cheer you up."

Shepard's eyes lit up as she took one of the bottles from him. "Budweiser! Hey, where did you get this? It's my favorite beer!"

"Really?" Garrus said with fake surprise. "I had no idea. I just asked for the best levo-beer they had."

He opened his bottle of dextro-beer and clinked it against hers. "Here's to us, who's like us?"

"Damn few," Shepard smirked.

"And they're all dead," they both chorused together.

Shepard took a deep swig and sighed heavily. "This is what a real beer is all about." She sat down against the Mako and patted the ground next to her. Garrus immediately obliged.

"You're really got the hang of all our human sayings, ya know? Keep it up and you just might end up the first turian to be drafted by the Alliance."

"Spirits forbid! Your sleeping pods are awful." They both chuckled slightly.

For a while they sipped their drinks in silence. Then Shepard spoke. "So, what're your plans after all of this?"

"You mean assuming we don't end up getting court-martialled for stealing the Alliance's newest stealth aircraft?"

"Oh ye of little faith," Shepard chuckled. "Don't worry. Nobody's gonna even think about court-martialling us once we save the Citadel from Sovereign and Saren's evil army of doom."

"Evil army of doom, huh? Nice ring to it. It'll look good on the movie posters."

"I thought so myself."

"You do realize," Garrus said slyly, "that once we stop Saren they'll start calling you the '_Savior of the Citadel_', don't you?"

Shepard groaned in exasperation. "Oh please, no. Not another damn title. As if the '_Lioness of Elysium_' wasn't bad enough."

"You'll be even more famous," he pressed on. "I bet they'll even make VIs of you, and action figures."

"Stop. Please, just stop," she begged.

"And you won't just be famous for the humans, either. Every single species out there will know your name after this. They'll. . ."

"That's it! You've done it this time, mister. I'm throwing you out the airlock the first chance I get!"

"No, you won't, Shepard," he said with a smug grin. "You just love me too much."

She stiffened slightly. "Yeah, I guess I do. . ." she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," she said loudly. "Anyways, you didn't answer my question: what are you gonna do once this is over?"

"Well," he said slowly. "I was thinking about finally signing up for Spectre training."

"Really?" She blinked at him. "Not going back to C-Sec?"

"After spending all this time working for you, Commander, C-Sec is going to be slightly tame," he grinned.

"So you're gonna be a Spectre. That's great, Garrus," Shepard said excitedly.

"Really?" He looked at her in surprise. "You're not going to ask me to go back to C-Sec?"

"Hell, no. Why would I want to do that?" she laughed. "You wouldn't be able to return to the Normandy if you went back to C-Sec, would you?"

"So you _want_ me to come back to the Normandy?"

"Of course," she said matter-of-factly. "Who else is gonna fix the Mako once I'm done with it?"

"Ahhh. . . I figured that would be it." Garrus shook his head in mock-sorrow. "After all that hard work training to be a Spectre, I return to the ship only to become a glorified mechanic."

"Don't pout, turian. It's unbecoming of you." Shepard smirked at him. "If you're nice maybe I'll let you accompany me on a few missions."

"That's assuming I get posted on the Normandy in the first place," he reminded her.

"Please," she waved her bottle airily. "I'm Commander-fucking-Shepard, Savior of the goddamn Citadel. Nobody's gonna say no to me."

"That sounds suspiciously like an abuse of power."

"We humans have a saying: With great power comes great responsibility. . . the responsibility to abuse the shit out your power, that is."

They both chuckled for a few minutes.

"Hey, Garrus?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to thank you."

"For saving you from the clutches of the evil asari?"

"No, you asshole," she laughed. "For everything: bringing that evidence, fighting by my side me, all that shit you pulled on Virmire, listening to your Commander vent all her frustrations. . . and just being a great friend, I guess." She blushed slightly at the end.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you, Shepard," he said quietly. "For everything you've done for me. . ."

. . . _in this life and the previous one._

"Jane. . ." she mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"My given name is 'Jane'," she said quietly. "When it's just us, you can call me that."

"Very well. . . Jane."

He let her name roll around on his tongue, watching her out of the corner of his eye as his mind went back to the time when she'd asked him to call her that for the first time, during their night before the trip through the Omega 4 relay.

He knew what it meant for her, Commander Jane Shepard, to drop her mask and expose the more vulnerable side of her personality to him. He was grateful for the trust that she'd come to show in him, and promised himself in that moment to never give her a reason to regret it.

Garrus felt her relax against his shoulder. In that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to take her into his arms, and never let go. . .

But this was okay. Right here, right now, Garrus Vakarian was exactly where he'd always wanted to be.

By her side.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the delay, my dear readers. My hands have been pretty full the last few weeks.  
**

**Hence, I decided to make this chapter twice as long to make it worth your long wait. Do post your comments on this chapter :)  
**

**For those of you who were hoping for sexy times in this chapter, sorry but for the sake of the plot it had to be done this way.**

**This chapter is my tribute to what is, in my opinion, the highlight of the ME series: Garrus' friendship with Shepard. Seriously, is there any bro greater than Garrus Vakarian out there? Hell, no!**

**The poll is closed now, and the majority of voters have insisted that I stick with the generic name 'Jane'. So, we're going with that for the rest of the series.**

**To the guest reviewer who posted that incredibly funny review on Chapter 12: seriously bro, you had me cracking up like crazy. Do consider making an account on this site. **


	14. Chapter 14

"Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you."

Garrus watched in awe as Saren Arterius, the legendary Spectre, fell through the glass floor.

He really had to hand it to Shepard. Only _she_ could talk a stubborn-as-hell turian Spectre into putting a bullet through his own head.

_I don't know if that's supposed to be admirable, or disturbing as hell. . . _

"All righty, then!" Shepard said cheerfully as she marched to the central control panel.

The rest of the team followed her, sharing uneasy glances. Garrus supposed that they too were feeling a little concerned over their Commander's casual dismissal of the whole situation.

_Hmm. . . . I wonder how Kaidan would have reacted if he was here. Shame his leg didn't heal in time. It would've been really entertaining. . . _

"Alright people! Looks like Vigil's data file worked. I've got control of all systems," Shepard declared.

"That's great, Commander!" Ashley said excitedly. "Quick! Open the station's arms. Maybe the fleet can take down Sovereign before he regains control of the station!"

"See if you can open a communications channel, Commander," Garrus suggested.

Garrus saw the whole conversation between Joker and Shepard play out just as he remembered. Once again the burden of command fell on her shoulders, with thousands of lives hanging in the balance.

"You can't sacrifice _human lives_ to save the Council!" Ashley exclaimed in anger. "What have they ever done for us?"

"This is bigger than humanity," Tali argued. "Sovereign's a threat to every organic species in the galaxy!"

"Which is why we can't throw away reinforcements to save those Council pyjacks!" Wrex barked. "We have to hold them back until Sovereign's exposed!"

"And what about the crew of the Destiny Ascension, Wrex?" Liara asked. "Do we leave those _ten thousand innocents_ to die as well?"

All four of them got into a heated discussion. Shepard merely arched an eyebrow at Garrus, who was uncharacteristically silent. He shrugged but didn't say anything.

This wasn't _his_ decision to make, after all.

Garrus had spent hours trying to weigh the pros and cons of saving the Council. He knew that uniting all the species against the Reaper fleet in the future would be much easier if they were to save the Destiny Ascension now, but then he remembered that in the previous timeline it hadn't done them much good at all. He was also aware that letting the Council die and focusing on Sovereign would tremendously boost the importance of humans on the galactic stage. And while he personally had no problems with that, he had no way of knowing what kind of effect that would have on the events of this timeline; it was quite possible that his entire knowledge of the future might become completely useless because of such a major shift in galactic power.

In the end Garrus had been forced to concede that his knowledge made him just too biased to make an effective decision. So he decided to once again place his faith in Shepard, as he always had.

Joker chimed in again, a note of urgency in his voice. _"What's the order, Commander? Come in now to save the Ascension or hold back?"_

Everyone fell silent at once to regard the Commander warily. Shepard took a deep breath and then started tapping at the controls. "Opening the relays now, Joker. We need to save the Ascension - no matter what the cost!"

"_Aye, aye Commander!"_

"Commander, you're not seriously. . . !"

"This isn't just about the Council, Ash," Shepard said wearily. "The Ascension is the largest ship in the Citadel fleet, which means it's also got the biggest guns! We _need_ that firepower to help the Alliance take down Sovereign. Besides, I'd rather not give the Geth fighters an opportunity to flank our ships when they're engaging Sovereign; better to get rid of them first and then move to take out that fucking Reaper!"

Garrus silently marvelled at his superior. With a single statement she managed to satisfy all four of her teammates, and still made the most tactically viable decision.

_Well, this **is** Shepard we're talking about. _

The Commander then met his eyes and jerked her head towards the bottom. "Make sure he's dead."

He nodded and walked away.

* * *

Garrus dove behind a small pile of rubble, narrowly avoiding Husk-Saren's energy beam.

"Damn it, Vakarian!" Ashley snapped through the comm. "You had _one_ job! One _fucking_ job!"

_Oh, so it's back to 'Vakarian' now. . . ._

He'd made sure to use Sledgehammer rounds while firing into Saren's skull, knowing full well that his Reaper-reinforced head would easily be able to take it. If only Shepard had agreed to share some of her Inferno ammo or High-explosive rounds with them earlier, they wouldn't have to fight this abomination right now.

'_Serves them right,' _he thought viciously. _Damn Shepard, always hogging the good stuff. . . ._

"Less talking more shooting, people!" Shepard barked angrily. "Ash – suppressive fire! Tali – overload that zombie's shields. . . "

"What's a _zombie_, Shepard?" Tali sounded puzzled.

"Not _now_, Tali!" Shepard groaned. "Liara – lift that sucker into the air! Wrex. . . . AAAAAGH!"

"Shepard!" Garrus was horrified by her pain-filled screams. "Shepard, what happened? Are you alright?" He tried to sneak a peek over his cover, but was forced to duck again.

"I-I'm fine. But. . . but m-my HMWA. . ."

Garrus blinked. Did he hear that correctly?

"M-my HMWA X! He fried it! That zombie bastard _fried_ it!" She sounded practically hysterical now. "I spent months. . . _months_ saving up to buy that thing and he. . he. . . YOU GODDAMN BASTARD!"

Garrus peeked out of cover just in time to see a near-rabid Commander Shepard launch herself at Husk-Saren, screaming in fury.

What followed was the most one-sided fight Garrus had ever seen in _both_ his lifetimes.

The entire squad stopped firing and watched, stupefied, as Commander Shepard proceeded to tear apart Husk-Saren with her bare hands, bellowing obscenities that would've given a hanar a heart-attack. It was easily the most sickening and fascinating thing any of them had ever seen.

Ashley clutched her stomach and look away, muttering prayers under her breath. Tali once again proved she was the smartest of them all by immediately turning off her audio receptors and making her mask opaque. Behind him, Garrus could've sworn that he heard a small '_Eep_'.

Urdnot Wrex would later swear until his dying day that he most certainly had _not_ 'eeped' like a little pyjack. It was only four centuries later, lying on his death bed on Tuchanka, that Wrex would share the truth with his eldest and favorite son (incidentally named Shepard in honor of his battle-sister). In his defense, it had been a rather manly '_eep_'.

Liara T'Soni would continue to have nightmares five hundred years after this day. She would stubbornly refuse to share the cause even with her beloved daughter Benezia, who Liara had conceived with Shepard's help. Benezia would never understand why her mother, the all-powerful Shadow Broker, absolutely refused to let her wield an assault rifle under _any_ circumstances; and any attempts to question her reason for doing so would result in her battle-hardened mother putting on a thousand-yard stare and consuming copious amounts of alcohol.

As for Garrus Vakarian. . . well, he figured that _someone_ had to watch the whole thing to back-up Shepard's report later. So he grit his teeth and watched the stomach-churning spectacle unfold before his very eyes.

He would later note that several times Husk-Saren had actually attempted to crawl _away_ from the mad human woman. After the fourth attempt however, Shepard had actually ripped off his metal leg and proceeded to do things to him that should _never_ be mentioned aloud in polite company.

Jeff 'Joker' Moreau would later swear on his life that, just before delivering the _coup-de-grace_ to Sovereign, the giant Reaper had actually spread out its limbs and welcomed the missile to its core; as though it had seen and experienced things no Reaper should ever have to bear. Naturally, no one believed him.

Anyways, twenty horrifying, mentally-scarring minutes later Commander Shepard was standing over the mangled corpse of Husk-Saren, breathing heavily.

"Er. . . Shepard. ." With the same suicidal bravery that saw him trying to take on Omega's entire mercenary population single-handedly with a sniper rifle, Garrus Vakarian slowly approached his superior.

"What!?" she snapped, bits of Husk-Saren still dripping from her fingers.

He flinched slightly at the manic gleam in her eyes. "He's. . . he's dead now, see? So you can. . . I don't know. . . _stop_, I guess."

"What?" she frowned. "He's dead? You sure?"

"I'm sure, Shepard."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Commander," Ashley nodded weakly from behind him. "Totally, completely, utterly, absolutely dead."

"Oh." Shepard scratched her head for a few minutes. "Hey Tali, could you. . . ?"

"No, Shepard." The quarian crossed her arms and spoke in an unusually severe tone. "I am _not_ going to restart him simply so you could do it again."

"Damn!"

Garrus sighed heavily, glad to see that she was back to normal. He then cocked his head to the side, feeling like he'd forgotten something.

"_Its shields are down! Now's our chance!"_ Joker's voice came through the comm. Everyone immediately fell silent and listened intently.

"_Hit it with everything we got!"_ came Admiral Hackett's gravelly voice.

_"This is Matriarch Lidanya, Captain of the Destiny Ascension."_ A crisp voice chimed in. _"We've got your back, Fifth Fleet. Do what you have to!" _

Ten seconds later, Joker again spoke. _"Hard on my flank! We're going in!"_

"Come on, Normandy," Shepard whispered quietly.

_Go Joker! Hmm, still feel like I'm forgetting something. . . _

The ground beneath them shook violently, just as a loud cheer rang through the comms. They'd done it!

"It's over?" Liara asked in surprise.

"It is." Shepard confirmed happily. "Sovereign's down! We won!"

The entire group burst into loud cheers: Wrex was firing his shotgun into the air, Tali and Ashley were practically dancing, Liara was weeping in gratitude, Shepard and Garrus were beaming widely at each other, no words to express their joy. . . .

Until a huge shadow fell over them.

Garrus whipped around and froze as a giant chunk of Sovereign flew straight at them through the window.

_Oh crap. That's what I forgot. . . _

"Go!" Shepard yelled.

Garrus' last thought as he threw his arms around Shepard, just as everything around them exploded, was that the Spirits really had it in for him sometimes.

* * *

". . .rrrus. . .hear me. . .Garrus. . . . Garrus, can you hear me? Garrus!"

He blinked slowly, trying to regain his bearings. "I'm right here, Shepard," he mumbled automatically.

"Thank God!"

A part of him wondered why Shepard's voice sounded so very loud. It was like she was right on top of him.

_Or maybe. . . _

He snapped his eyes open, only to realize that it was the other way around.

"Shepard!" he gasped. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," the human lying underneath him muttered.

"Oh." Garrus blinked a few times. "Um. . . . good then."

"Yeah, I bet it is." Her voice sounded awfully strangled.

"Oh. Here let me. . . OW!"

"What's wrong?"

"My leg hurts. Think it's broken. . . ."

"Yeah? Well, my entire _body_ hurts! Though that might just be because of the giant armored lizard lying on top of me. . . "

"Racism is unbecoming of you, Commander." Garrus slowly rolled off her. "And for the last time, turians aren't. . . "

Shepard groaned softly. "_Not_ the time, Garrus!"

"Oh, and you're welcome by the way. You know, for pulling your ass out of the fire. _Again_."

"Yeah, yeah. Suck it up, asshole."

"You see that!" Garrus huffed in indignation. "That's human gratitude for you, right there."

"Hey, I'm Commander-_fucking_-Shepard, Savior of the goddamn Citadel and all organics in the galaxy! I'm _allowed_ to be a little ungrateful!"

They both laughed loudly, still high on adrenaline. Slowly though the excitement wore off and the two best friends simply lay there, under the piece of debris hanging over them like a canopy.

Garrus cocked his head slightly as the sound of voices grew louder, along with the noise of debris being shifted. "Looks like the rescue team is here."

"Good."

"Think we should just stay here and let them find us, or should we walk out on our own?"

"Hmmm. . . let's see." Shepard stuck a thoughtful pose, though the effect was ruined significantly since she was lying flat on her back. "We're both the most badass members of our respective species, lying here after our battle with a giant cuttlefish AI hell bent on causing the apocalypse. . . hmm, yeah I think we should walk out of here on our own."

"Thought you'd say that," Garrus grunted as he slowly got to his feet and held out his hand to the Commander.

Shepard also winced slightly. "Damn, think I broke my arm. . . "

The turian chuckled slightly, gripping her around the waist. "We make one hell of a pair, don't we?"

"Yeah." Shepard grinned as she threw her arm around him. "Yeah, we do."

* * *

**AN: So, what d'you folks think? Reviews please :)  
**

**I decided to give the whole Saren-zombie fight a humorous edge, since I figured that'd give the Reapers a _real_ reason to fear Commander Shepard. **

**Next up is the final chapter of this installment. But not to worry, the sequel is already in the works ;)**


	15. Chapter 15

A lone keeper scuttled across the wreckage. Nearby, a small group of workers checked for salvageable materials in the ruins of a restaurant.

Garrus Vakarian watched this all from a distance and sighed. All in all, things could have been a lot worse.

The collateral damage was almost as bad as he remembered, but thankfully the number of civilian casualties were far lower than anticipated. There were rumors of C-Sec receiving an anonymous tip early before the attack, as well as reports of an old turian General seen directing bystanders to emergency exits and supervising evacuation efforts.

_Thank the Spirits Oraka came through. . . _

Garrus sighed softly. Even knowing what was going to happen beforehand didn't make all this easier. The Citadel had been his home for five years, ten if you count the previous timeline. Seeing the beautiful Presidium reduced to rubble did not help his mood, even if he _did_ know that everything would be rebuilt in less than two years.

"It's something, isn't it?"

Garrus jumped slightly and turned to see Wrex standing right behind him. For someone who weighed several hundred kilograms, the old krogan could be really stealthy sometimes.

The ancient warrior surveyed the scene before them dispassionately. "Never thought I'd see the day the Citadel would remind me of home."

Garrus snorted slightly. "Figured you'd say that."

Wrex came to stand right next to him. "Shepard still at it with those pyjacks?"

The turian smirked slightly. Even a week after the battle Shepard was stuck giving debriefings, first to the Council and then to the Alliance. She'd been doing nothing for the past week except attending meetings and discussing details of her mission. Anderson's appointment as first human Councillor only served to increase her workload.

"Better her than us," Garrus said.

"True," Wrex agreed. "I'd shoot the idiots in the face if they asked me to read out a damn report to them for the tenth time."

"Is that how Krogan politics works?" Garrus teased.

"Nah, there's less talking involved. We just headbutt the opposition into accepting what we say," Wrex grunted. "But who knows. . . things might've changed since I was last there. I'll know when I go back."

Garrus blinked in surprise. "You're going back to Tuchanka?"

"Yeah. Figured it was about time, too."

Wrex leaned back and crossed his arms. "Shepard's right: the krogan aren't going to have much of a future if we don't start fighting for it. No one else is up for the job, may as well be me."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Wrex," Garrus smiled.

"Hmph. I'd better," Wrex grunted. "Our little quarian's already run back to her people, talking about retaking her home-world. If she actually _succeeds_ before the krogan do, I'll never hear the end of it."

Garrus chuckled slightly as he recalled Tali's excitement about returning to the Migrant Fleet. She'd left two days after the battle, babbling non-stop about getting the Geth data to her father. He prayed that she'd made it back safely.

"So yeah, I'll go back home and try to knock some sense into those pyjacks. Don't know how much good it'll do though. . ."

"You know," Garrus said. "Shepard once told me something interesting. Apparently, your name means 'king' in an old earth language. 'Krogan King' – that's what she called you."

Well, she _had _told him that in the old timeline, so it technically was true.

"My point is: Shepard believes, and I agree with her, that you have what it takes to do good by your people, Wrex." He turned around and flared his mandibles in a wide grin. "So, if you ask me, I think you'll be fine."

Wrex was silent for a long time. "Krogan King, huh?" he finally grunted. "I like the sound of that."

"What about _you_, turian? What are you going to do now?"

"I-I'm not sure."

It was true. For the first time since he came back, Garrus Vakarian had no idea of what to do next. He knew, of course, what was going to happen in a few months, and was trying his hardest not to think about it.

"Hmph," Wrex grumbled. "Let's hope we'll run into each other again, then."

"Er. . .yeah. Sure." Garrus sent a curious glance at the unusually talkative krogan.

"And when we do, maybe you'll tell me your big secret."

Garrus felt his heartbeat quicken. "What secret?"

"Don't lie to me, _turian_," Wrex turned his beady red eyes on him. "I haven't lived as long as I have by being a dumb pyjack. There's something different about you. I can _smell_ it."

"It's in the way you move, the way you fight. . . . you've got too much experience for someone your age. Then there's the way you seem to have a plan for everything, almost as if you _know _it's going to happen." He shook his head. "Very little about you makes any sense."

Garrus fought hard to keep himself under control. "Wrex, I. . ."

"You are Shepard's krantt," Wrex interrupted him. "That makes you _my_ krantt. Krantt does not keep secrets from each other, turian."

He glared at Garrus for a few more minutes, and then sighed.

"I'll let it pass, for now. But someday, you're gonna have to sit down and tell me everything."

Garrus exhaled softly. Sometimes he forgot how intelligent his old friend really was.

"Maybe I will," he said with a smile. "Someday."

* * *

Garrus panted as he raced across to the docking bay.

This couldn't be happening! It was much too soon! In the last timeline, this didn't happen until the next three months. So why in the world. . .

"Shepard!"

The Commander looked up and grinned. "Slow down, Garrus. Take a deep breath. We still got time."

"I. . . _huff_. . . got your message. . . _huff_. . . mission. . ."

"Yeah, I know. Can you believe those Council jerks? They're sending us out to find geth. _Geth_!?" She shook her head in exasperation.

"What about the Reapers?"

"Anderson says the Council's finding it hard to believe our story about the Reapers," Shepard grunted. "More like those idiots don't _want_ to. So they're sending us out on this stupid mission to keep me and the Normandy out of the public eye."

She sighed softly. "After everything we did for those bastards, this is what we get. Typical politicians."

"Shepard, you're not seriously going ahead with this, are you?"

"Don't have much of a choice, do I?" Shepard laughed. "I might be the 'Savior of the Citadel', Garrus, but I'm still a soldier; I have to follow my orders."

"But Shepard," Garrus was struggling not to panic. How could he possibly convey his thoughts to her? "What about the Reapers?"

"Anderson and Hackett are working on it. They're saying that by the time I get back, they hope to have enough evidence to make their case to the Council," she rubbed the back of her neck slightly. "Let's hope they find something."

"But Shepard. . ."

"Relax Garrus, I'll only be gone a few months at most." She patted his armored shoulder. "You focus on your Spectre training. I want you back on the Normandy ASAP. Okay?"

"Shepard. . ."

She held up a hand to interrupt him. "Go on, Joker. . . . hmm, all set? All right, then." She turned back to Garrus. "Looks like it's time to get going."

In that moment there were a thousand things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her the truth about himself, he wanted to tell her to keep away from the Amada system, he wanted to warn her about the Collectors. . . .

But nothing came out.

Shepard smiled and hugged him briefly. "Take care, Garrus. And make sure to message me everyday."

"Yeah." He smiled hesitantly.

He watched her walk into the docking tube and smile at him until the doors closed. He stayed and stared at the Normandy as they ran through all the pre-flight checks. He watched the Normandy disengage from the docking bay, watched it turn around and blast away into the galaxy. . .

Somewhere in that noise, the sound of his broken heart was lost.

* * *

"_This is Emily Wong reporting for Citadel NewsNet. The attack on the Alliance flagship Normandy SR1 has just been confirmed. . . ."_

"_. . . . . several crew-members were killed outright in the surprise attack, with the majority of the crew. . . "_

"_. . . . . surviving crew members picked up by the Systems Alliance, which has promised a full investigation. . . ."_

"_. . . . confirmed that Commander Jane Shepard, Hero of the Citadel was killed in action. The first human Spectre. . ."_

In the darkness of an apartment a lone turian sat at his table, staring at a holo of a red-haired human female.

Turians did not cry. . . . not out of pride but because of the lack of tear ducts in their system.

They could, however, drink themselves to death; which was what Garrus Vakarian was currently attempting.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I'm so sorry. . ."

He took another sip of the extremely potent dextro-alcohol, hoping it would help numb his pain a little. So far there was little progress.

After Shepard's departure, he had locked himself into his home and spent days justifying his decisions to himself.

He told himself that it was fine, Shepard would be back anyways; that she needed the implants that Cerberus would give her to fight Harbinger and his Collectors; that there was no way to completely prevent her death, since the Collectors could always assign an assassin to kill her if they couldn't attack the Normandy itself; that they needed the Normandy SR2 and EDI, which only Cerberus could provide them; that Shepard's death would give him two years. . . two whole years to put all kinds of plans into motion; that in order to get all of their friends together this had to be done. . .

It didn't make him feel any better, though.

Garrus knew that, logically, this was the best decision to make. As cruel as it might sound, the sacrifice of the Normandy SR1 would give them all kinds of advantages to use against the Reapers. This was war after all, and Shepard would understand the need to make hard decisions.

_No, you're wrong. Shepard would never have done what you did. She would have found a way to save everyone. . . _

He laughed sourly. That was so true! Shepard was, and would always be, a better leader and a much better person than him.

But he was not Shepard. He could never _hope_ to be anything like her.

Omega had taught him that lesson well. . . .

So he did the only thing he could: he sent the woman he loved to her death. He stood back and watched as the ship he proudly served on was torn asunder, watched as the crew of the Normandy went through hell itself, watched as good men and women died fiery deaths all alone in the cold of the galaxy. . . . all to give them a fighting chance against the Reapers.

After all, what was the lives of twenty good men and women compared to the fate of the entire galaxy?

He laughed bitterly to himself. He was so pathetic!

_Ruthless calculus. _Once again the ruthless calculus of war cost him everything!

Garrus traced one single talon over the smiling face of his beloved Commander.

"May you never forgive me, Shepard," he said softly. "May you never forgive me, for I shall never forgive myself. . . ."

* * *

Liara heaved a sigh of relief as she looked around the kitchen.

Finally, she was done!

She took a seat at the table and poured herself a cup of coffee. While not a huge fan of beverages in general, Liara had come to greatly appreciate the wonder that was caffeine during her time on the Normandy. Strangely enough, the human crew themselves never seemed to like the coffee available on the ship. Something about how 'instant' was horrible and there was no espresso, whatever that was. She herself didn't care so much about the apparent lack of variety; decades spent at dig-sites had taught her to survive on whatever was available.

Thinking of the Normandy once again brought tears to her eyes. Poor Shepard. . . how could the goddess be so cruel?

Liara had nearly fainted in shock when she heard the report on the GNN. The very idea of the Normandy being destroyed, just. . . gone like that! It was unfathomable!

All those good people dead! Pressly, Caroline Grenado, the Draven sisters. . . . so many good men and women had died, their bodies not even recovered. A part of Liara was glad that, at the very least, Joker, Chakwas, Ashley and Kaidan had survived. The other part grieved for the loss of so many comrades with whom she'd shared such wonderful moments.

And Shepard. . . . Liara still couldn't believe that she was gone. Shepard had always seemed so. . . so _invincible_. She was like a force of nature, the kind of hero Liara had always believed existed only in stories. The very idea of her dying. . . let alone due to a surprise enemy attack seemed absolutely impossible!

Liara recalled standing with the rest of the crew at Shepard's funeral, staring at the casket being lowered with tears in her eyes, a distraught Tali sobbing uncontrollably on her shoulder. Kaidan and Ashley stood at attention with the rest of the marines, struggling to hold back tears. Wrex looked ready to kill somebody, and were it not for the presence of Admiral Hackett and Councilor Anderson cutting off the politicians from making their grandiose speeches, he might've succeeded.

Even then she had refused to believe that Shepard was truly gone. Liara was convinced, right up to the very end, that Shepard would just walk up to them all snapping off some witty one-liner, that infuriating smirk on her face.

But that had not happened.

Shepard's death had truly been the final straw for Liara. It had convinced her, beyond a shadow of doubt, that there truly was no justice in the galaxy.

After all, what sort of a galaxy did they live in where good people like Shepard and her mother met such horrible ends? What was the point in doing the right thing when all it got you was a cold grave in space?

So lost was she in her morbid thoughts that she did not even realize the absence of one of their own until Tali reminded her.

Garrus Vakarian was missing.

The turian's absence at the funeral had confused Liara. It was well-known aboard the Normandy that Shepard and Garrus had been great friends, and for someone as loyal as him to not turn up at her funeral seemed incredibly out of character. So both the girls set out to check on him at his apartment.

They had not been prepared for what they found there.

The entire place was a mess and reeked of alcohol. Garrus himself was found slumped over his desk with a bottle in one hand and a holo of Shepard in the other.

His breathing was extremely ragged.

Liara immediately sent Tali to fetch a doctor and levitated the turian to his bedroom. She returned with an acquaintance of Garrus, a human named Chloe Michel, who got to work on him immediately.

The diagnosis was shocking: extreme alcohol poisoning.

The doctor claimed it was a miracle that Garrus wasn't dead yet, given how much dextro-liquor he'd consumed. She immediately set about detoxing him, with Liara and Tali helping out as much as they could.

The next two days had been exhausting. Liara and Tali took shifts keeping watch over Garrus as he struggled through his recovery. His health was further complicated when he developed a high fever, and kept mumbling apologies in his sleep to Shepard.

Liara would never have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. Garrus Vakarian was one of the strongest people she knew. To see him go to pieces like that. . .

It brought back to mind some of the other things she'd noticed on board the Normandy. Things she had not paid much attention to back then.

Working as an archaeologist for half a century had taught Liara to pay attention to the tiniest of details. She had a knack for noticing things that people missed.

She had observed Shepard and Garrus' interactions both during and after missions. The camaraderie they shared, it was very different to what the rest of them had had with her. Shepard had been many things to the Normandy's crew: superior, friend, confidant, mentor. . . but with Garrus there had always been something else, something _more_. Something Liara _wished_ she'd had.

Liara had never really gotten over her feelings for Shepard. Jane Shepard would always hold a special place in her heart, because she was Liara's first true love. Not just some silly schoolgirl crush. . . the feelings Liara had for her had always been genuine.

But Shepard had politely turned down her advances, and Liara had understood. One could not _force_ one's feelings upon others, after all. Besides, she consoled herself, there was always the chance that Shepard might change her mind later, and asari did live for very long.

That still didn't stop her from feeling jealous every time she watched Garrus and Shepard get together.

Something had been there. . . even if no one else saw it. Even if they themselves hadn't known it.

And Garrus' behavior just confirmed it.

Liara sighed as she took another sip. She had never been gladder for Tali's support. The young quarian had diligently helped her clean out the apartment, and only left yesterday after it was confirmed that Garrus had fully recovered.

Recovered physically that is. Mentally, he still wasn't the same.

So Liara busied herself cleaning out the kitchen. It had taken hours but. . .

"Liara?"

She jumped in her seat and whipped around. "Garrus! I didn't see you there."

The turian gave her a tired smile and sat down at the table. "Don't worry about it. And thanks for, you know. . . everything."

"Please don't mention it, Garrus. What are friends for?" She flashed him a brief smile and looked at him concernedly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm. . . not fine, Liara. I'm not fine at all." He took a deep breath. "I've done. . . horrible things. I. . ."

"Garrus, please! Whatever it is, you can you can share it with me." She laid a gentle arm on his.

Garrus flicked his mandibles tiredly and patted her hand. "You're a good friend, Liara. Better than I deserve. Which is why. . . which is why I have to tell you. I have to tell you everything."

He exhaled loudly, looking strangely disoriented without his visor. "I thought I could do it on my own, Liara. I thought I was strong. I. . . I should never have done that. She was right, you know. I should've. . ."

"Garrus," she interrupted him gently. "You're not making much sense. Please, calm down."

He chuckled harshly. "What I'm about to tell you won't make much sense anyway." He shook his head. "Please listen to me first, Liara. After that you can do whatever you want. You can curse me, hit me, heck. . . attack me with your biotics; or walk away and never see my face again, it's up to you. Just. . . just listen to the whole story first, okay? Promise me that."

"Garrus, why would I. . ." Liara sighed at his determined expression. "All right. I swear in the name of the Goddess Athame I will listen to everything you have to say. Is that alright?"

Garrus nodded gratefully and leaned in closer, his blue eyes sharp and focused. "Tell me Liara, what do you know about time-travel?"

* * *

**AN: And roll the credits. . .  
**

**That's it, people! The first installment of the series is done!**

**Now before you guys proceed to lynch me, allow me to say a few words.  
**

**Some of you will, no doubt, not be happy with the way it ended. Well allow me to say, dear readers, that there's a reason I chose to end the story this way. A reason which you'll understand, and even appreciate, once the sequel comes out. So keep calm and enjoy yourselves!**

**The second part of the series will be up shortly. I promise you it will be bigger and better. There will be more action, more laughter, more drama, more romance, and more of our beloved turian's strange outlook on the galaxy.**

**A big thank you to each and every one of my readers. This fic was the first story that I published on this site, and thanks to all of your support I have only grown as a writer.**

**Do remember to stay tuned, as the first chapter of the next installment will be up by the end of the month.**

**Now, if you'll excuse me *_dodges a pitchfork thrust_*, I should go.**

***_Flees for his life_***


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